The weekend before the Big Week is a time for serious contemplation.

1) Stimulate your Liver Qi. Embarrass yourself at grad formal. Have them reprint your award with the same word misspelled. Create an online dating profile. Get a day job and surround yourself by a species of human that is still trying to figure out what gluten is. Feel smugly superior and remember what this feels like: it won’t last.

2) Address the difference between neediness and having needs in relationships. Learn astrology.

3) Buy a $200 book that weighs more than you do and makes you feel legitimized by the medical profession. Carry it around as a cute accessory. Spill things on it so it looks used.

4) Attempt to study with such book until your stubborn idealism erodes.

5) While on your 3rd espresso of the day, with 5 weeks to go and counting, order The Book (the only book): The Book of Vinny.

6) Read The B of V twice with a highlighter while loudly discussing your sex life with JP and LC on a patio while surrounded by Dollarama booty.

7.1) HEALING

7.2) MOUNTAIN

7.3) PRACTICE

7.4) EXAMS

7.5) !!!!!

8.1) Work your way through various existential crises where you question the existence of everything and note your tendency for self-sabotage. People will tell you, “You’re almost there!” and “Don’t throw these 4 years away!” Listen to them. And the tarots.

8.2) During moments of intense self-doubt, look to the tarot for clarity. The cards can be a mirror to your subconscious, revealing the patterns of thought that lead you into cycles of self-sabotage. When you feel like giving up, they offer the wisdom to persevere, helping you recognize the forces at work in your life.

8.3) Tarot doesn’t just tell you what’s coming—it helps you understand the why behind your struggles. When you’re tangled in an existential crisis, the cards act as both a compass and a warning, guiding you toward a more balanced path.

8.4) It’s easy to get lost in the noise, but like the cracks you might see on a broken life line palm, there’s meaning in the imperfections. The tarot will guide you past these obstacles, helping you realize that these bumps in the road aren’t the end but rather the beginning of a stronger self.

9.1) In the event that you find yourself 4 hours early for the start of the first day of the exam (review schedules beforehand), ensure that you have enough $0.25 coins to purchase an adequate supply of banana candies from the nearby vending machines. Stuff your pockets with these. You’ll need the glucose.

9.2) The exam is long. Wear earplugs. Share 90% cacao Lindt bars with classmates. Don’t attach your self-worth to the outcome; a huge part of passing is having had the good sense to have watched a Hiroshima documentary and therefore having found out some facts about radiation poisoning. Otherwise, you’d be out of luck.

9.3) Collapse on the grass. Stare at the blue summer sky you were probably missing out on for the past 1.5 months.

10) Continue trying to be vulnerable. Mend the hole in your pants. Travel with a valid visa.

…11) Savour the end of this era.

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