Self-compassion is the act of treating yourself as you would any other loved one: treating yourself with kindness vs. Self-Judgment.
Self compassion is a modality that is being researched for treatments for mental health conditions, preventing burnout, improving motivation, body image, resilience, and in clinical settings for the helping professions.
The leading expert on self-compassion, Kristen Neff, PhD, defines self-compassion in three ways:
- Mindfulness
- Invoking a sense of common humanity
- Self-acceptance vs. self-judgement
This 3 minute self compassion break can be done in a moment of difficulty, such as in the presence of strong emotions, physical sensations, self-criticizing thoughts, or in the face of failure. It can be done on a daily basis or when difficulty is present.
Step 1:
Adopt a posture that invokes a sense of self compassion. The posture to adopt is traditionally placing hands on the heart, but can also be hands placed on the neck, or a mudra. Touch releases oxytocin, our “love hormone” which releases feelings of calm, love and connection, even when it’s our own hands being placed on our own body.
Step 2:
Either to yourself, or out loud, say these three sentences.
- This is a moment of suffering. This is mindfulness, acknowledging that suffering is present and turning towards, as opposed to turning away from difficulty.
- Suffering is a part of life. Other alternatives to this are: other people feel this way. This is invoking the sense of common humanity, reminding yourself that you are not alone and other people on earth have felt or are currently feeling this way.
- May I give myself the compassion I need. This is setting an intention to be kinder to oneself. Other alternatives are: may I be kind to myself, or may I try to accept myself as I am.
For more on Self-Compassion, to access more of Kirsten Neff’s research, and for free resources, visit selfcompassion.org
