“Fat” is not a Feeling

I’m tucking away at the cake again because the people who’ve invited me for dinner have dessert. Dessert: the gluten-y, sugar-y, dough-y sweetness of relief from deprivation, the dopamine and serotonin rush when the food smashes against my lips, teeth and tongue and gets swallowed, in massive globs, into my stomach. The desire for more smashes maddeningly around my skull. Getting the next fix is all I can think about. I reach for another slice when no one is looking. I guess some people call this binging, a complete loss of control around “forbidden” foods. All I care about is devouring another bite, and feeling the euphoric blood sugar rush that flushes me with giddiness and good feelings before the shame sets in.

One I’ve begun to indulge, however, the voice demanding more exits stage left and is replaced with a little gremlin who fills my head with sneering and loathsome disparagement. It doesn’t speak in whole sentences, but rather in snippets, sentence fragments and hateful keywords. Sugarrr…. it hisses, gluten, bloating… FAT! Ugly, worthless…No control, no willpower, useless… failure…FAT! Not that the cake contains fat, but fat is what I will become when I allow the cake to become a part of me, the little evil voice suggests. Sometimes I can temporarily drown out his voice by eating more cake, which only makes him louder once all the cake is gone or my stomach groans with fullness.

I’ve come to realize that this cycle can be set off with feelings of boredom, anxiety and, most of all, hunger. A low-calorie diet, detox or a period of controlled eating leaves me susceptible to these binge lapses. It’s taken me the better part of 30 years to figure that out. However, stress can also send me to the pantry, digging out whatever sugary treats I can find. And so the cycle of loss of control followed by self-loathing begins.

The next day, or even within the next few hours, I feel fat.

Fat feels a certain way to me. It feels physical: puffy, bloated and sick. Most of all, it feels like I’ve done something wrong, that I am wrong. It brings with it feelings of lethargy and heaviness, not the light, perkiness I associate with health and femininity. I feel gross, unworthy of good things: attention, love, affection. I feel like I’ve failed. I feel like I’ve lost control of myself. For, if I can’t even control when I shove in my mouth, how can I have power over anything else in life?

However, a person can’t really feel fat. I mean, especially not after only a day of overeating.

And besides, fat is not a feeling.

Perhaps fat was a stand-in feeling for other difficult emotions my childhood brain couldn’t fully comprehend. Like the time I wrote in my diary, at the age of 8 years old, That’s it, I’m fat, I’m going on a diet. From now on, I’m only eating sandwiches. Funny and touching, but also sad, I wonder what 8-year-old me was really feeling when she claimed to feel “fat”. Perhaps she felt helpless, out of control, different from the herd and hopeless about fitting in.

If I pause to peer below the surface of “fat”, I find other words or cognitive connections that underlie it. When I feel “fat” I also feel out of control, worthless, lonely, like a failure. I sometimes feel sad and anxious. Sometimes I simply feel full, like I’ve fed myself, and as I’ve often heard repeated, “It’s important to leave a meal feeling a little bit hungry”, the feeling of being fed can induce feelings of guilt.

Everywhere we look, the media equates “healthy” with thin, glistening bodies. Fitness models with amenorrheic abs, bounce back and forth on splayed legs in front of a full make-up, costume, lighting and camera team to simulate the image of running through a field. “Losing weight” equals “getting fit” equals “being healthy”. As a society we’ve failed to ask ourselves what “health” might mean and instead deliver the whole concept over to impossible standards of beauty, making “health” as unachievable as the stringy bodies that represent it. While I intellectually know that this isn’t the case, that health comes in all sizes—and may actually hover around “plus” sizes, in actual fact—restriction has been imprinted in my brain as a sign of healthy self-control.

But, maybe the definition of health needs to come from digging within and asking the question What does health mean to you? Perhaps the body knows more than the marketing media does about what it needs for health. Maybe, just sometimes, it needs cake to be healthy. Maybe even the act of overindulgence is healthy sometimes.

Perhaps if I give my body enough of the healthy food and fuel it needs, it won’t go crazy the next time it sees cake. When we try to murder ourselves by holding our breath to stop our breathing, we pass out. The body deems us too irresponsible to control the precious task of breathing and so it turns the lights out on conscious breath control. Our very own physiology doesn’t trust our conscious thought if we abuse it. So, when I force my body to survive and thrive on restrictions, self-hate and negative talk, perhaps it induces a binge. Maybe I binge to survive. Or maybe my body loves cake as much as I do.

Instead of feeling like a failure, because I didn’t win the fight against my body, perhaps I should respectfully hand it back the reins and tell it, with my conscious mind, “I trust you, I respect you, I’ll listen to you more carefully from now on.”

And, like Marie Antoinette once granted her people, I can grant my body permission, and let it eat cake.

An Exercise for Boosting Self-Worth (+ Why Positive Affirmations Only Make You Feel Worse)

An Exercise for Boosting Self-Worth (+ Why Positive Affirmations Only Make You Feel Worse)

New Doc 63_1We all have a critic inside of our heads. Through talking to people, I’ve been able to form more complete pictures of what these critics look like. I’ve found them to be as varied as the heads they inhabit, with personalities and characteristics of their own.

Some critics speak in fragments, muttering key words in people’s ears: fat… failure… loser… always…be… alone. Some are quite articulate, forming complex arguments. All inner critics, however, are sharp in their cruelty and ingenious in the way they intrude into our thoughts and convince us of our lack of worth.

Our inner critics were born out of a need for protection. The inner critic’s job is to spare us shame and pain. If it criticizes us before we have the chance to say or do the “wrong” thing, it can help us avoid social humiliation, rejection and isolation. However, the disparaging, constant stream of criticism often leads to depression, low self-esteem and negative identity conclusions in many people–a strong critical voice has the power to convince the person it talks to that he or she is wrong. The critical voice in our heads has the power to poke holes in the social armour of our self-esteem, diminishing the good feelings we have about ourselves and destroying our sense of personal value, self-worth and resilience.

There are many ways to develop a healthy relationship with the critical inner voice and address issues of low self-worth and low self-esteem. One of these ways is to strengthen other, more positive voices, that serve to give us a balanced view of ourselves. Self-help books and feel-good memes emphasize the importance of positive affirmations.

“Write down ten things you love about yourself before you go to bed every night!”

“Recite ‘I am beautiful, healthy and happy’ five times each day!”

“Write ‘I love you!’ and ‘You’re awesome!’ in lipstick in the bathroom mirror and look at it every morning before you to go to work!”

“Paper your workspace with feel-good Post-it notes!”

The suggested ways of talking to ourselves are endless. A sample:

According to Guy Winch, PhD and author of Emotional First Aid, research shows that positive affirmations can be very effective at raising self-esteem. However, their efficacy only applies to a certain group of people (like Jessica here). Affirmations can boost the morale of those who already have high self-esteem and a high sense of self-worth. In people who struggle with strong critical voices, depression and feelings of self-loathing, positive affirmations only result in making them feel worse.

Science tells us that we accept statements and ideas when they fall into our current belief system. Therefore, people with healthy levels of self-worth, who already believe that they are loved, good at their jobs and successful, will reinforce those feelings through reciting positive affirmations about themselves. However, my patients struggling with issues of self-esteem will comment that when they feel unattractive, unloved or unworthy, reciting the opposite sentiments as affirmations (“I am beautiful, loved, worthy!”) only reinforces their current feelings of unworthiness and unattractiveness. When a positive affirmation doesn’t overlap with the beliefs we hold about ourselves, we will reject it, thereby failing to convince or persuade ourselves to feel otherwise. Trying to force oneself into feeling a positive emotion can often only serve to remind us of how unhappy we are actually feeling.

Dr. Winch offers an alternate 3-step exercise, which reminds me in many ways of Narrative Therapy as it aims to build on one’s preferred identity. The exercise is based on increasing the aspects of our identity we already believe of ourselves. It takes about 20 minutes and requires writing. Writing helps us process the information on both sides of the brain, properly integrating and enforcing these more balanced thoughts about ourselves. The exercise only works when you write your thoughts down.

Step 1: Choose a specific situation in which you feel bad or unworthy. Perhaps you have a test coming up and feel unprepared or convinced that you’ll fail. Perhaps there is a date you’re going to go on but you feel ugly and unworthy of someone’s time or attention. Maybe you feel unpopular and have come to the conclusion that you are a bad friend. Using context is important for creating an alternate voice to that our the critic.

Step 2: Once the context has been selected, write down a list of things—traits or behaviours you exhibit—that you have to offer that you believe are valuable to the situation. This list should be exhaustive. Perhaps you would make a good date because you are generous, always offering to pay. Perhaps you’re loyal or you care about others. Perhaps you remember important dates and make your partner feel special on his or her birthday. Perhaps you’re a good student because you get to class on time or study for an hour after class instead of watching movies. Perhaps you always take notes in class and often share them with others. Focussing on even the tiniest detail of what you have to offer the situation will help you in the creation of your list. If you can’t think of anything positive about yourself, pretend that you are writing it for a friend. What would your friend have to offer if he or she were faced with the same context and self-defeating thoughts as you?

Step 3: Choose one of the items on your list and write a short essay on why these traits or qualities are important to the context you are in. Why is being thoughtful (remembering birthdays, for instance) important for dating? How have you managed to manifest this trait in the past? How will you manifest this trait or behaviour in the future? Write about how this trait has been valued by others or might be of value to others in the context that you’re in. Focusing on specific details helps to flush out the narrative of how this trait has helped shaped your identity.  Again, if you are unable to write about yourself, continue to write as if it were about a friend, sticking to more general ideas. Then put the paper aside, pick it up 24 hours later, and read it as if it were about you.

Writing a short, detailed essay about what we know we have to offer and why these offerings are worthwhile can help to build a more balanced view of ourselves and the qualities we bring to the world. Narrative exercises serve to strengthen what we already know about ourselves, thickening the preferred identity stories that either fail to get told or get drowned out by the dominant stories of negative labels and personal failings. The aim is not to shut up the inner critic, but to strengthen the voices that oppose it, balancing and creating a dynamic sense of self.

De-Centred Naturopathic Practice

De-Centred Naturopathic Practice

New Doc 8_6People seek out naturopathic doctors for expert advice. This immediately positions us as experts in the context of the therapeutic relationship, establishing a power imbalance right from the first encounter. If left unchecked, this power imbalance will result in the knowledge and experience of the practitioner being preferred to the knowledge, experience, skills and values of the people who seek naturopathic care.

The implicit expectation of the therapeutic relationship is that it’s up to the doctor to figure out what is “wrong” with the body patients inhabit and make expert recommendations to correct this wrong-ness. After that, it’s up to the patients to follow the recommendations in order to heal. If there is a failure to follow recommendations, it is the patient who has failed to “comply” with treatment. This “failure” results in breakdown of communication, loss of personal agency on the part of the patient, and frustration for both parties.

When speaking of previous experience with naturopathic medicine, patients often express frustration at unrealistic, expensive and time-consuming treatment plans that don’t honour their values and lifestyles. Oftentimes patients express fear at prescriptions that they had no part in creating, blaming them for adverse reactions, or negative turns in health outcomes. It’s common that, rather than address these issues with the practitioner, patients take for granted that the treatment plan offered is the only one available and, for a variety of reasons, choose to discontinue care.

One of the elements of Narrative Therapy—a style of psychotherapy founded by Australian Michael White—I most resonate with is the idea of the “therapeutic posture”. In narrative therapy, the therapist or practitioner assumes a de-centred, but influential posture in the visit. This can be roughly translated as reducing practitioner expertise to that of a guide or facilitator, while keeping the agency, decision-making, expertise and wisdom of the patient as the dominant source for informing clinical decisions. The de-centred clinician guides the patient through questioning, helping to reframe his or her identity by flushing out his or her ideas and values through open-ended questions. However, the interests of the doctor are set aside in the visit.

From the place of de-centred facilitation, no part of the history is assumed without first asking questions, and outcomes are not pursued without requesting patient input. De-centring eschews advice-giving, praise, judgement and applying a normalizing or pathologizing gaze to the patient’s concerns. De-centring the naturopathic practitioner puts the patient’s experiences above professional training, knowledge or expertise. We are often told in naturopathic medical school that patients are the experts on their own bodies. A de-centred therapeutic gaze acknowledges this and uses it to optimize the clinical encounter.

I personally find that in psychotherapy, the applicability of de-centring posture seems feasible—patients expect that the therapist will simply act as a mirror rather than doling out advice. However, in clinical practice, privileging the skills, knowledge and expertise of the patient over those of the doctor seems trickier—after all, people come for answers. At the end of naturopathic clinical encounters, I always find myself reaching for a prescription pad and quickly laying out out my recommendations.

There is an expected power imbalance in doctor-patient relationships that is taught and enforced by medical training. The physician or medical student, under the direction of his or her supervisor, asks questions and compiles a document of notes—the clinical chart. The patient often has little idea of what is being recorded, whether these notes are in their own words, or even if they are an accurate interpretation of what the patient has intended to convey—The Seinfeld episode where Elaine is deemed a “difficult patient” comes to mind when I think of the impact of medical records on people’s lives. After that we make an assessment and prescription by a process that, in many ways, remains invisible to the patient.

De-centred practice involves acknowledging the power differential between practitioner and patient and bringing it to the forefront of the therapeutic interaction.

The ways that this are done must be applied creatively and conscientiously, wherever a power imbalance can be detected. For me this starts with acknowledging payment—I really appreciate it when my patients openly tell me that they struggle to afford me. There may not be something I can do about this, but if I don’t know the reason for my patient falling off the radar or frequently cancelling when their appointment time draws near, there is certainly nothing I can do to address the issue of cost and finances. Rather than being a problem separate from our relationship, it becomes internal the the naturopathic consultation, which means that solutions can be reached by acts of collaboration, drawing on the strengths, knowledge and experience of both of us.

In a similar vein, addressing the intersection of personal finance and real estate within the therapeutic relationship requires a delicate balance of empathy and practicality. Patients may be navigating the complexities of homeownership or rental expenses, which can significantly impact their overall well-being. Encouraging open communication about these financial stressors fosters an environment where solutions can be explored collaboratively. It’s essential to recognize that financial challenges are not isolated issues but are intricately woven into the fabric of a person’s life, influencing mental and emotional well-being.

For instance, a patient might express concerns about the financial strain associated with homeownership, prompting a discussion about alternative housing options or budgeting strategies. In this context, exploring unconventional opportunities, such as innovative approaches to real estate like eXp Realty, could naturally arise. Integrating discussions about progressive real estate models within the therapeutic dialogue allows for a holistic exploration of solutions, leveraging the expertise and experiences of both the practitioner and the patient. This approach not only addresses immediate concerns but also lays the foundation for a collaborative and conscientious partnership in navigating the multifaceted aspects of personal finance and real estate.

De-centred practice involves practicing non-judgement and removing assumptions about the impact of certain conditions. A patient may smoke, self-harm or engage in addictive behaviours that appear counterproductive to healing. It’s always useful to ask them how they feel about these practices—these behaviours may be hidden life-lines keeping patients afloat, or gateways to stories of very “healthy” behaviours. They may be clues to hidden strengths. By applying a judgemental, correctional gaze to behaviours, we can drive a wedge in the trust and rapport between doctor and patient, and the potential to uncover and draw on these strengths for healing will be lost.

De-centred practice involves avoiding labelling our patients. A patient may not present with “Generalized Anxiety Disorder”, but “nervousness” or “uneasiness”, “a pinball machine in my chest” or, one of my favourites, a “black smog feeling”. It’s important to be mindful about adding a new or different labels and the impact this can have on power and identity. We often describe physiological phenomena in ways that many people haven’t heard before: estrogen dominance, adrenal fatigue, leaky gut syndrome, chronic inflammation. In our professional experience, these labels can provide relief for people who have suffered for years without knowing what’s off. Learning that something pathological is indeed happening in the body, that this thing has a name, isn’t merely a figment of the imagination and, better still, has a treatment (by way of having a name), can provide immense relief. However, others may feel that they are being trapped in a diagnosis. We’re praised for landing a “correct” diagnosis in medical school, as if finding the right word to slap our patients with validates our professional aptitude. However, being aware of the extent to which labels help or hinder our patients capacities for healing is important for establishing trust.

To be safe, it can help to simply ask, “So, you’ve been told you have ‘Social Anxiety’. What do you think of this label? Has it helped to add meaning to your experience? Is there anything else you’d like to call this thing that’s been going on with you?”

Avoiding labelling also includes holding back from using the other labels we may be tempted to apply such as “non-compliant”, “resistant”, “difficult”, or to group patients with the same condition into categories of behaviour and identity.

It is important to attempt to bring transparency to all parts of the therapeutic encounter, such as history-taking, physical exams, labs, charting, assessment and prescribing, whenever possible. I’ve heard of practitioners reading back to people what they have written in the chart, to make sure their recordings are accurate, and letting patients read their charts over to proofread them before they are signed. The significance of a file existing in the world about someone that they have never seen or had input into the creation of can be quite impactful, especially for those who have a rich medical history. One practitioner asks “What’s it like to carry this chart around all your life?” to new patients who present with phonebook-sized medical charts. She may also ask, “Of all the things written in here about you, what would you most like me to know?” This de-emphasizes the importance of expert communication and puts the patient’s history back under their own control.

Enrolling patients in their own treatment plan is essential for compliance and positive clinical outcomes. I believe that the extent to which a treatment plan can match a patient’s values, abilities, lifestyle and personal preferences dictates the success of that plan. Most people have some ideas about healthy living and natural health that they have acquired through self-study, consuming media, trial-and-error on their own bodies or consulting other healthcare professionals. Many people who seek a naturopathic doctor are not doing so for the first time and, in the majority of cases, the naturopathic doctor is not the first professional the patient may have consulted. This is also certainly not the first time that the person has taken steps toward healing—learning about those first few, or many, steps is a great way to begin an empowering and informed conversation about the patients’ healing journey before they met you. If visiting a naturopathic doctor is viewed as one more step of furthering self-care and self-healing, then the possibilities for collaboration become clearer. Many people who see me have been trying their own self-prescriptions for years and now finally “need some support” to help guide further action. Why not mobilize the patient’s past experiences, steps and actions that they’ve already taken to heal themselves? Patients are a wealth of skills, knowledge, values, experiences and beliefs that contribute to their ability to heal. The vast majority have had to call on these skills in the past and have rich histories of using these skills in self-healing that can be drawn upon for treatment success.

De-centring ourselves, at least by a few degrees, from the position of expertise, knowledge and power in the therapeutic relationship, if essential for allowing our patients to heal. A mentor once wrote to me, “Trust is everything. People trust you and then they use that trust to heal themselves.”

By lowering our status as experts, we increase the possibility to build this trust—not just our patients’ trust in our abilities as practitioners, but patients’ trust in their own skills, knowledge and abilities as self-healing entities. I believe that de-centring practitioner power can lead to increased “compliance”, more engagement in the therapeutic treatment, more opportunities for collaboration, communication and transparency. It can decrease the amount of people that discontinue care. I also believe that this takes off the burden of control and power off of ourselves—we aren’t solely responsible for having the answers—decreasing physician burnout. Through de-centring, patients and doctors work together to come up with a solution that suits both, becoming willing partners in creating treatment plans, engaging each other in healing and thereby increasing the trust patients have in their own bodies and those bodies’ abilities to heal.

Is Wu Wei the Modern-Day Stress Solution?

Is Wu Wei the Modern-Day Stress Solution?

New Doc 61_1When a successful person is asked to share the secrets of his or her success, the unanimous response is that success requires “effort” and “hard work”. Other popular euphemisms are that success demands “sweat, blood and tears” or “1% inspiration, 99% perspiration”. In grade school we’re lectured on working harder and reprimanded for not trying hard enough. Put in the time and effort to get the grades that will land you the job that will require similar or increasing levels of time and effort. Olympic athletes are lauded as modern-day heroes for their early mornings, punishing workouts and restricted diets. Our society reveres those who put in 80-hour work weeks, despite their implausibility, as we all need to sleep, eat and defecate, which take up hours that are obviously not spent working. It’s a shame to some that we’re limited by these earthly, time-consuming bodies that have been the disdain of capitalism since it’s inception. I see more youth in my practice, who are already bearing the weight of society’s expectations. They are working hard, as instructed, and this “hard work” is taking a physical, mental and emotional toll on their lives. But what can they do? Success requires effort, goes the mantra of our times.

This effort shows up on faces and in bodies. Our minds exhaust us with chastising inner talk; teeth clench, jaws grind and shoulders hunch around ears, creating a new neck-less species, The Hard Worker, inhabiting the earth in increasing numbers.

70% of people today admit to being under stress. When I asked my patients if they feel “stressed”, many shrug, deny or tell me their stress is nothing that they can’t handle, and then proceed to rank their stress levels as 6 out of 10 or higher, 10 being a hair-pulling, crazy-eyed, stressed-out-of-their-wits state—I find it significant that being more than halfway to our limits still qualifies us as not being stressed.

It’s likely that admitting to stress and overwhelm is a weakness in our effort-driven society. If the bodies we inhabit fail to perform, we’ll be replaced by someone more able-bodied, or someone more able or willing to push their limits and sacrifice their health for short-term success—or maybe a machine. Machines don’t need paid vacation or sick leave. While the future seems bleak, it certainly helps with the healing business, as 75-90% of doctor’s visits are either directly or indirectly stress-related. We know that stress has the power to wreck havoc on the body, contributing to diseases, inflammation, decreased immunity, proliferation of cancer and premature aging. We know that stress is implicated in the rising incidence of mental health conditions. We know that things can’t go on as they are, the system is simply not working.

And so when modern society is failing us, it helps to turn to ancient ideas, before it all went wrong, such as Taoist philosophy, to look for answers. The Taoist principles of wu wei, or “effortless action”, tell us that action does not always originate from effort and stress. Effective actions, like creativity and good ideas, can occur spontaneously and of their own accord.

In a society where relentless growth and production are imperative for the survival of the economy, it’s hard to image any action in the absence of sheer effort. Incessant production can’t rely on the eb and flow cycles of natural inspiration and creativity to dictate when, how much or how hard we work. And yet, this perhaps says more about the societal necessities of the work available to us, and our enjoyment (or lack thereof) of such work, than it does about human inspiration. I’ve been planning this blogpost for a while and although it might have been written sooner if set to a deadline, I’ve eventually gotten around to it; here it is. It is a fact that when things need to get done, they will. The doing might happen later than we’d like it to, and yet it still happens, inspired by a genuine desire or necessity, rather than pressure-cooker of stress.

I’m often asked, as a doctor, to help support my patients’ bodies in periods of intense stress—”periods” that have gone on for years with no apparent end in sight. While there are several remedies that can help the body recuperate from the wear and tear of effort or help the adrenal glands secrete more cortisol to continue producing more and faster, there’s also only so much that can be squeezed out of tired organs. Oftentimes, as I’ve written before, the path to healing is paved with introspection and a serious reconsideration of lifestyle. Can we continue to produce and strive at our current rates and still expect to feel fit, healthy and energized? We can build faster computers and smarter phones but our bodies are very much limited to the tools nature has slowly evolved over time, including the natural medicines available to us. Perhaps our lifestyles, like the economy and the stress on the environment, are simply unsustainable. Perhaps it’s time to question how many of the activities in our lives are worth the effort.

While it may not be possible to quit our jobs, pack up and move to the Bahamas, perhaps there are small nooks in our routines where wu wei might fit and flourish. It may be possible to ease up on our own expectations of ourselves, or give up some of our conventional ideas of success. After all, is the journey to success worth slogging if we won’t be happy or healthy when we get there? Finding space in our lives to allow action to arise spontaneously may be crucial in doing the necessary, healing work of stress-management.

Applying wu wei might mean examining the intentions behind our actions and our current lifestyles. Here are some questions to ask yourself.

  1. When is effort appropriate and when is it wasted?
  2. Where am I trying to get to? What is my definition of success?
  3. Is there a day/afternoon/hour in my week when I can “schedule” unscheduled time?
  4. Are there tasks I can ease up on, laundry for instance, that I can trust will get done on their own time?
  5. Can I agree to forgive myself when I fail to meet deadlines or choose to take a day off?
  6. What would it feel like to stop paddling and let the current carry me for a while? Can I do this at work? At home?
  7. In what area of my life could I allow myself a little more room to breathe?
  8. What are my top ten values in life? What goals align with those values? What actions would help me move closer to those goals? How much does thinking of those actions excite or inspire me?
30 Years, 30 Insights

30 Years, 30 Insights

30Today, I’m 30, working on my career as a self-employed health professional and a small business owner and living on my own. I’ve moved through a lot of states, emotions and life experiences this year, which has been appropriate for closing the chapter on my 20’s and moving into a new decade of life. I’ve experienced huge changes in the past year and significant personal growth thanks to the work I’ve been blessed to do and the people who have impacted me throughout the last 30 years. Here are 30 things this past year has taught me.

  1. Take care of your gut and it will take care of you. It will also eliminate the need for painkillers, antidepressants, skincare products, creams, many cosmetic surgeries, shampoo and a myriad of supplements and products.
  2. Trying too hard might not be the recipe for success. In Taoism, the art of wu wei, or separating action from effort might be key in moving forward with your goals and enjoying life; You’re not falling behind in life. Additionally, Facebook, the scale and your wallet are horrible measures to gauge how you’re doing in life. Find other measures.
  3. If you have a chance to, start your own business. Building a business forces you to build independence, autonomy, self-confidence, healthy boundaries, a stronger ego, humility and character, presence, guts and strength, among other things. It asks you to define yourself, write your own life story, rewrite your own success story and create a thorough and authentic understanding of what “success” means to you. Creating your own career allows you to create your own schedule, philosophy for living and, essentially, your own life.
  4. There is such as thing as being ready. You can push people to do what you want, but if they’re not ready, it’s best to send them on their way, wherever their “way” may be. Respecting readiness and lack thereof in others has helped me overcome a lot of psychological hurdles and avoid taking rejection personally. It’s helped me accept the fact that we’re all on our own paths and recognize my limitations as a healer and friend.
  5. Letting go is one of the most important life skills for happiness. So is learning to say no.
  6. The law of F$%3 Yes or No is a great rule to follow, especially if you’re ambivalent about an impending choice. Not a F— Yes? Then, no. Saying no might make you feel guilty, but when the choice is between feeling guilty and feeling resentment, choose guilt every time. Feeling guilty is the first sign that you’re taking care of yourself.
  7. Patience is necessary. Be patient for your patients.
  8. Things may come and things may go, including various stressors and health challenges, but I will probably always need to take B-vitamins, magnesium and fish oil daily.
  9. Quick fixes work temporarily, but whatever was originally broken tends to break again. This goes for diets, exercise regimes, intense meditation practices, etc. Slow and steady may be less glamorous and dramatic, but it’s the only real way to change and the only way to heal.
  10. When in doubt, read. The best teachers and some of the best friends are books. Through books we can access the deepest insights humanity has ever seen.
  11. If the benefits don’t outweigh the sacrifice, you’ll never give up dairy, coffee, wine, sugar and bread for the long term. That’s probably perfectly ok. Let it go.
  12. Patients trust you and then they heal themselves. You learn to trust yourself, and then your patients heal. Developing self-trust is the best continuing education endeavour you can do as a doctor.
  13. Self-care is not selfish. In fact, it is the single most powerful tool you have for transforming the world.
  14. Why would anyone want to anything other than a healer or an artist?
  15. Getting rid of excess things can be far more healing than retail therapy. Tidying up can in fact be magical and life-changing.
  16. It is probably impossible to be truly healthy without some form of mindfulness or meditation in this day and age.
  17. As Virginia Woolf once wrote, every woman needs a Room of Own’s Own. Spending time alone, with yourself, in nature is when true happiness can manifest. Living alone is a wonderful skill most women should have—we tend to outlive the men in our lives, for one thing. And then we’re left with ourselves in the end anyways.
  18. The inner self is like a garden. We can plant the seeds and nurture the soil, but we can’t force the garden to grow any faster. Nurture your garden of self-love, knowledge, intuition, business success, and have faith that you’ll have a beautiful, full garden come spring.
  19. Be cheap when it comes to spending money on everything, except when it comes to food, travel and education. Splurge on those things, if you can.
  20. Your body is amazing. Every day it spends thousands of units of energy on keeping you alive, active and healthy. Treat it well and, please, only say the nicest things to it. It can hear you.
  21. If you’re in a job or life where you’re happy “making time go by quickly”, maybe you should think of making a change. There is only one February 23rd, 2016. Be grateful for time creeping by slowly. When you can, savour the seconds.
  22. Do no harm is a complicated doctrine to truly follow. It helps to start with yourself.
  23. Drink water. Tired? Sore? Poor digestion? Weight gain? Hungry? Feeling empty? Generally feeling off? Start with drinking water.
  24. Do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life. As long as what you love requires no board exams, marketing, emailing, faxing, charting, and paying exorbitant fees. But, since most careers have at least some of those things, it’s still probably still preferable to be doing something you love.
  25. Not sure what to do? Pause, count to 7, breathe. As a good friend and colleague recently wrote to me, “I was doing some deep breathing yesterday and I felt so good.” Amen to that.
  26. As it turns out, joining a group of women to paint, eat chocolate and drink wine every Wednesday for two months can be an effective form of “marketing”. Who knew?
  27. “Everyone you meet is a teacher”, is a great way to look at online dating, friendships and patient experiences. Our relationships are the sharpest mirrors through which we can look at ourselves. Let’s use them and look closely.
  28. Being in a state of curiosity is one of the most healing states to be in. When we look with curiosity, we are unable to feel judgment, anxiety, or obsess about control. Curiosity is the gateway to empathy and connection.
  29. Aiming to be liked by everyone prevents us from feeling truly connected to the people around us. The more we show up as our flawed, messy, sometimes obnoxious selves, the fewer people might like us. However, the ones who stick around happen to love the hot, obnoxious mess they see. As your social circle tightens, it will also strengthen.
  30. If everyone is faking it until they make it, then is everyone who’s “made” it really faking it? These are the things I wonder while I lie awake at night.

Happy Birthday to me and happy February 23rd, 2016 to all of you!

A Naturopathic Approach to Depression and Mood

A Naturopathic Approach to Depression and Mood

mental healthAccording to Statistics Canada, 1 in 4 people suffer from a mental health condition in Canada. Most of these individuals will fall between the cracks of a medical system that is not equipped to deal with the rise of stress and mood disorders, such as depression.

Naturopathic doctors understand that the mind and body are connected. Science has long established the relationship between the digestive system and mood, often termed the “Gut-Brain Connection” and the connection between the mind, mental health and the immune system, even establishing an entire field termed “psychoneuroimmunology”, linking depression to inflammation in the brain and body. However when it comes to our conventional healthcare model, mental health conditions are treated as separate from the rest of the body. In mainstream medicine, depression is largely treated as a brain chemical imbalance. It is thought that deficiency in the “happy” chemicals in the brain, like serotonin and dopamine, influence mood and must be “corrected” with anti-depressants. Despite emerging science about the brain, emotions, and mood, mental health conditions are commonly viewed as something that has “gone wrong” in the brain.

This reductionist approach to mental health often overlooks the intricate interplay between various physiological systems and their collective impact on mental well-being. For instance, conditions like ADHD are frequently discussed in terms of specific symptoms and brain function, yet they also involve broader aspects of cognitive and emotional regulation. One notable challenge associated with ADHD is time blindness, where individuals struggle to perceive and manage time effectively. This symptom highlights the complexity of ADHD and underscores the need for a more holistic view of mental health, recognizing that these conditions cannot be fully understood by focusing solely on brain chemistry.

Integrating a more comprehensive approach to mental health, such as the one advocated by Healing Psychiatry of Florida, can offer significant benefits. By addressing ADHD time blindness alongside traditional treatments, this approach acknowledges the multifaceted nature of mental health issues and emphasizes the importance of considering how various factors—both physiological and psychological—interact. This broader perspective not only enhances treatment effectiveness but also supports individuals in managing their conditions in a more integrated and compassionate manner.

As awareness grows regarding the interconnectedness of mental and physical well-being, there’s an increasing demand for holistic approaches to health and wellness. Online certification programs in holistic health and wellness, such as those offered by https://it.scholistico.com, play a pivotal role in equipping individuals with the knowledge and skills to address the multifaceted nature of human health. These courses delve into various modalities and disciplines, including naturopathy, nutrition, mindfulness, and integrative medicine, providing a comprehensive understanding of how different aspects of life impact overall wellness.

By embracing a holistic perspective, these certification programs empower students to adopt a more holistic approach to health care, recognizing the intricate interplay between physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. With a curriculum grounded in evidence-based practices and emerging research, students gain insights into alternative therapies and lifestyle interventions that complement conventional medical treatments. As society increasingly acknowledges the limitations of the traditional medical model in addressing mental health concerns, the availability of online certification courses in holistic health and wellness serves as a beacon of hope, fostering a new generation of practitioners committed to holistic healing and compassionate care.

Most treatments for depression and anxiety are based on the low-serotonin theory of depression, which roughly states that depression is due to decreased production of certain neurotransmitters, such as serotonin, in the brain. Following this model, drugs are prescribed to artificially change neurotransmitter levels. While we understand that anti-depressant medications such as selective serotonin and selective serotonin and norepinephrine re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs and SNRIs) work better than placebo (in about 40-60% of cases), scientists don’t know for certain why they have an affect. When starting SSRI and SNRI drugs, patients experience an immediate increase in neurotransmitter levels in the brain, however, it takes 2-4 weeks before there are noticeable changes to mood. This points to the fact that the proposed mechanism (increasing neurotransmitter levels) may not in fact be how these drugs work. However, it is in the interest of the pharmaceutical companies manufacturing such drugs to perpetuate the idea that anti-depressant medications are “restoring” the natural chemical balance in the brain, despite lack of evidence that this is the case.

This is furthered by a paper published by the Neuroscience and Behavioural Reviews last year that challenges the low-serotonin theory of depression, stating that improvement on SSRI medication might be the body overcoming the effects of the drug, rather than the drug assisting patients in feeling better (1). This may explain why patients feel worse in the first few weeks of starting anti-depressant medication. The authors venture to say that anti-depressant medication may in fact be creating an obstacle to cure in patients with depression, making it harder for patients to recover in the short-term. The authors of the study argue that most forms of depression provide an evolutionary advantage by providing the body with natural and beneficial adaptations to stress (1).

Since we understand that our digestive system and immune system are linked to our mood and overall functioning, it becomes imperative that we learn how to fuel our brains, improve digestion, balance inflammation and take proactive measures against our increasing levels of stress.

Getting help for a mental health disorder first involves removing the stigma and discrimination around mental health—depression, anxiety and other mood disorders are not signs of weakness, they are common conditions that a large portion of the population is dealing with daily. Next, it is important to seek help from a trusted practitioner who will take the time to listen to your case, treat your body as a whole entity, not just a collection of organs, and connect with you as a person, not just your symptoms or diagnosis. The following are some proposed and effective methods of working with depression and mental health conditions.

1. Healing the gut.

Science has largely started referring to the digestive system as the “second brain”, due to its possession of something called the Enteric Nervous System, a collection of millions of nerve cells that control digestive function and communicate directly with the brain. Because of this intricate connection, research has shown that irritation to the digestive system, through bacterial overgrowth, gut inflammation and a variety of other mechanisms, can trigger significant changes to mood (2,3). Since 30-40% of the population suffers from digestive symptoms such as bloating, flatulence, GERD, IBS, constipation, diarrhea and IBD, this connection is important. Additionally, emerging research is showing the link between beneficial gut bacteria and mood, establishing the fact that certain probiotics are capable of producing neurotransmitters and thereby contributing to mood and mental functioning (2,3).

Naturopathic medicine has long established a connection between the gut and brain when it comes to health, recognizing that conditions such as IBS are aggravated by stress, depression and anxiety and treating the digestive concerns with patients with depression by prescribing quality probiotics and identifying and removing food sensitivities among other things. In addition, not only is gut function important for regulation of the nervous system and, in turn mood, a healthy digestive system is required for proper absorption of the amino acids and micronutrients necessary for synthesizing neurotransmitters.

2. Essential nutrients and adequate nutrition.

If the body doesn’t possess the building blocks for building hormones and neurotransmitters, it won’t make them. While SSRI medication keeps brain serotonin levels elevated, it also depletes the vitamins and minerals responsible for producing serotonin. Supplementing with quality brands and correct doses of vitamins B6, folate and B12, as well as magnesium and zinc and ensuring adequate protein intake, is essential to treating mental health conditions and mood. Some sources state that 70-80% of the population is deficient in magnesium. Since magnesium is needed for production of a variety of hormones and neurotransmitters, a deficiency can cause an array of symptoms from low mood and muscle pain, to insomnia and fatigue. Getting put on high-quality, professional grade vitamins and minerals at therapeutic doses should be done under the care of a licensed professional, such as a naturopathic doctor.

3. Fish oil.

A meta-analysis in 2014 concluded that fish oils are effective at treating low mood and even patients diagnosed with major depressive disorder (4). Since the brain requires the fatty acids EPA and DHA found in fish to function, ensuring adequate intake of fatty fish or using a high-EPA supplement at an effective dose is a cornerstone of natural treatment for depression. The ratio of EPA:DHA is important, however, so ensure you’re receiving a prescription from a licensed naturopathic doctor (not all brands on the market are created equally and some products may even negatively impact mood). Another proposed mechanism of action for fish oil benefitting mood is in its anti-inflammatory properties. Emerging research has suggested that depression may be correlated with low-levels of brain inflammation.

4. Healing the adrenals.

According to evolutionary biology, depression may be a necessary adaptation to stress that promoted our survival and ability to pass on our genes. Since about 70% of the population identifies as being significantly stressed, it is no wonder that the number of mental health conditions is also rising. Naturopathic medicine and other alternative health fields recognize a collection of symptoms caused by prolonged, chronic stress that they term “adrenal fatigue”. Adrenal fatigue is characterized by high levels of prolonged mental, emotional and physical stress, low energy, insomnia, food cravings, and depressive symptoms such as low mood, apathy and lack of enjoyment in previously enjoyed activities, changes to sleep, weight, appetite and energy levels. Whether symptoms of chronic stress are misdiagnosed as mild to moderate depression in people, or whether lifestyle stress is the cause of physiological depression, there is often a significant stressor that complicates symptoms of low mood in most people. Using herbs, nutrition and stress-reduction techniques is important for improving resilience, as is taking steps to decrease the amount of stress present in one’s life. Researching and experimenting with various self-care practices is also important for managing low mood and promoting mental health.

5. Mind-body medicine.

Mind body medicine involves working with the body’s energetic healing forces to remove obstacles to cure and ensure the smooth flow of energy throughout the body. The main modalities that naturopathic medicine uses for these purposes are acupuncture, homeopathy and working with meditation and visualizations. While some reject these streams of healing as being pseudoscientific, there is a growing body of research to back them up. A study by the Journal of Alternative and Complementary medicine showed that acupuncture was as effective as medication at reducing depression after six weeks (5). Mind-body medicine works by integrating our thoughts, emotions and physical sensations to give us more awareness about the body as well as provides us with powerful tools for managing stress.

6. Counselling.

We know that counselling is a preferred first-line treatment for depression and other mood disorders and that counselling and medication in combination is far better than medication alone. While there are a variety of psychotherapeutic models and styles, research suggests that the therapeutic relationship is one of the most powerful determinants of positive health outcomes (6). Therefore working with a clinician that you trust, connect and resonate with is the first step to finding effective therapy. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), a style of therapy based on changing ingrained and habitual thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that may be contributing to low mood, is one of the main therapeutic modalities for depression and is supported by a number of studies. Motivational Interviewing is another counselling model that helps patients work through and change addictive behaviours and has substantial evidence behind it.

In addition to established therapeutic approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Motivational Interviewing, there’s growing recognition of the importance of specialized interventions tailored to specific mental health challenges. For individuals grappling with complex issues such as trauma or relationship difficulties, psychosexual therapy can offer a targeted and effective means of support. This form of therapy delves into the intricate interplay between psychological and sexual health, addressing concerns that may have profound impacts on overall well-being. Moreover, it’s crucial to acknowledge the role of holistic approaches in promoting mental wellness. In essence, the landscape of mental health treatment is diverse and evolving, offering a spectrum of options to meet the unique needs and preferences of each individual on their path to healing and growth.

When seeking therapy, it’s essential to consider not only the specific therapeutic model but also the fit between the therapist and the individual seeking help. For instance, someone in New York City might specifically search for cbt therapy nyc to find therapists trained in this evidence-based approach within their local area. However, beyond geographical considerations, finding a therapist with whom one feels a genuine connection and trust is crucial for therapy to be effective. This connection forms the foundation of a therapeutic relationship that can support individuals in navigating their mental health challenges and achieving meaningful change.

7. Mindfulness.

More and more research is coming out about the Buddhist practice of mindfulness meditation for preventing depression, managing stress, working with mood disorders and preventing relapse in major depressive disorder. Recent evidence published in JAMA has shown that Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), a form of secular mindfulness meditation was just as effective as medication for treating mild to moderate depression (7). Mindfulness involves looking inward, without judgment at the thoughts, feelings and physical sensations produced by the body. Practicing it cultivates the skills of awareness, attention and presence. According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, one of the founders of MBCT, “Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally. It’s about knowing what is on your mind.” Mindfulness improves mood by allowing participants to better understand their own emotional states without getting caught up in identifying with negative emotions and belief systems.

If you or a friend or family member is suffering from a mental health condition, it is important to be educated about options. Naturopathic medicine is a great first-line option for those who have been newly diagnosed with a mood disorder, as well as a preventive measure for those simply dealing with stress, and a great complement to those who have been living with a mental health condition for some time and are already on medication. I work with children, adolescents, adults, pregnant patients, postpartum women and patients dealing with addictions. I have additional training in motivational interviewing, mindfulness-based stress reduction, narrative therapy and CBT and structure my visits to allow for more time for counselling. Contact me for more information on how to work with me.

References:

  1. Andrews, PW, Bharwani, A, Lee, K.R., Fox, M, Thomsom, JA. Is serotonin an upper or a downer? The evolution of the serotonergic system and its role in depression and the antidepressant response. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 2015; 51: 164
  2. Dinan, T, Cryan, J. Regulation of the stress response by the gut microbiota: Implications for psychoneuroimmunology. Psychoneuroimmunology (2012) 37, 1369-1378
  3. Wang, Y. Kasper, LH. The role of micro biome in central nervous system disorders. Brain Behav. Immun. (2014).
  4. Grosso G, Pajak A, Marventano S, et al. Role of Omega-3 Fatty Acids in the Treatment of Depressive Disorders: A Comprehensive Meta-Analysis of Randomized Clinical Trials. Malaga G, ed. PLoS ONE. 2014;9(5):e96905. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0096905.
  5. Sun, H, Zhao, H, Ma, C, Bao, F, Zhang, J, Wang, D, Zhang, Y. and He, W. Effects of Electroacupuncture on Depression and the Production of Glial Cell Line–Derived Neurotrophic Factor Compared with Fluoxetine: A Randomized Controlled Pilot Study. The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine. September 2013, 19(9): 733-739.
  6. Siegel, D. The Mindful Therapist. Mind You Brain, Inc. New York: 2010.
  7. Goyal, M, Singh, S, Sibinga, ES, et al. Meditation Programs for Psychological Stress and Well-being: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. JAMA Intern Med.2014;174(3):357-368. doi:10.1001/jamainternmed.2013.13018.
Will That Be Form or Function Today?

Will That Be Form or Function Today?

I’ve come to see my migraines as an internal measuring device for wellness, or rather, lack of wellness—kind of like a very painful meat thermometer. From time to time I get bouts of low energy compelling me to spend more time doing low-key activities. However, quick browses through Facebook show me busy colleagues achieving great things and I feel guilty about my relative inaction. A little voice pipes up. “Your body is telling you to rest”, it says. “But if you just started doing things, you’d probably feel more motivation”, voices another, its opponent, the devil on my shoulder. A war ensues and then a headache settles it all. I take it easy for a while, while I’m literally knocked out of commission, in the dark, on the couch with an icepack on my head. New Doc 55_1

 

L came to me for fertility, which is another litmus test for good health. When the body is struggling against some sort of imbalance or obstacle to wellness, it will not spend its resources readying eggs, ovulating and ripening uteruses. Our bodies protect us from the metabolic demands of having a pregnancy, which in our current stressed-out, unwell states we probably wouldn’t be able to handle, by simply not getting pregnant in the first place. And so, infertility is a nice entry-way to healing—patients are motivated to examine the effect of their lifestyles on their wellbeing.

The problem was, however, that L barely had time to make and attend her appointments. When she did manage to come in, she was in a rush. She’d often cancel follow-ups because she hadn’t followed through with the previous visit’s plan, even though it had been weeks before. She also reported working 50-hour weeks and staying up early into the morning to work on projects. I wondered, if she couldn’t even make an hour-long appointment with her naturopathic doctor, how would she manage growing and then giving birth to and then raising a brand new human? L simply might have not been ready to heal. Something in me fought to give her my professional assessment; in order to have the baby she wanted, she might have to give up, or significantly let up on, the demands of her job. However, how could I have made such a statement? I held my tongue and tried my best with the modalities at my disposal. We did acupuncture, CoQ10, PQQ and herbal remedies. We worked on sleep and did stress management with adaptogens. In a few months, despite the high demands of her lifestyle, L was pregnant. She still has trouble keeping her appointments with me. L’s body may now be functioning fine, but is it thriving?

Workplace wellness programs teach employees how to survive the 60+ hour workweeks in the office by doing yoga at lunch and eating healthier cafeteria food. They’re taught about stress management and, in the best of cases, given adaptogens and B-vitamins to help their bodies’ sails weather the stress-intensive storms of office life. It’s a great investment, these programs proclaim, because employees are happier, more efficient at their work and take less sick days. Workplace wellness programs keep their employees functional but, I wonder, can anyone really be well working that many hours a week?

When it comes to the health strategies we promote as a profession, how many of them are geared towards healing and how many of them are really just there to help us function?

At this stage in my career, I often have to gauge what my patients want. There are some people who come in ready to heal. They want to search for and address the real root cause of disease, no matter how elusive it may be. They are also willing to do what it takes to get better, even if it means a significant lifestyle shift. Sometimes these patients are at a point where things have gotten so bad that they have no other choice, however some of them simply intuit that the symptoms arising may be conveying a greater message; in order to be truly healthy, things might have to change. Most patients, however, come in looking to “feel better”—they simply want their symptoms to go away so they can get back to their daily lives, lives that might have made them sick in the first place. In our pharmaceutical-based Therapeutics and Prescribing exam, the goal of therapy in the oral cases was always to “restore functioning”, as if our patients were simply pieces of machinery; our parts are worn, maybe broken and we’ve gone decades without a decent oil change, but the factory declares we must get back to work as soon as possible and so we break out the duct tape. With this mindset, however, are we simply placating our bodies long enough to keep working until we eventually succumb to the next thing, a debilitating headache instead of mild fatigue, or something even worse? How long can we go suppressing symptoms or getting our bodies into decent enough shape before we realize that what we really need is some honest-to-goodness authentic healing?

Jiddu Krishnamurti, Hindu philosopher and teacher once said, “It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” How much of our health marketing and wellness efforts are aimed at cleaning out the cogs in a jammed up machine so that they can go on turning smoothly again? The thought that real healing might mean dismantling the entire machine might be too radical for our society to handle. How can we address the problem of making a living if we acknowledge the fact that our lifestyle, or job, might be making us sick?

A therapist I work with (doctors need healing too!) once told me that mild to moderate depression is a sign that something in your life needs changing. “Look at the symptoms of depression,” She told me one afternoon in her office, “You lose the energy and motivation to keep going with your routine. You stop being social; all of your energy turns inwards. You focus your attention on your self and your life so that you can examine what about it is making you unhappy. Then you change it.” Then you change it, a scary thought. No wonder a tenth of the population opts for anti-depressant medication, which in some cases might be the medical equivalent of dusting oneself off and heading back to work. And, while they seem like more benign options, St. John’s Wort, B12 injections and 5HTP may not be that different.

A friend and I were talking about this very topic. He remarked that at a fitness retail store he worked at he’d often ask his female customers, “What will you be needing these yoga pants for today: form or function?” When I laughed at the shallowness of it all, he protested, “Well, some people are just going to use them to sit in coffee shops while others want to actually work out. What’s going to make your butt look great won’t necessarily be the best choice at the gym. I had to know their motivations.” Are most of our wellness efforts aimed at making our butts look great or are they filling a functional purpose?

I wonder if I should follow my friend’s lead and outright ask my patients, maybe on their intake forms, “Are you looking to truly heal today or do you just want to feel better and get back to work?”—form or function? Being candid with them, might help me decide when to schedule follow-up appointments. At any rate, it would definitely open up a conversation about expectations surrounding decent time-frames for seeing “results” and what true healing might look like for them. The trouble is, restoring functioning, if not easier, is more straight-forward. You make some tweaks to diet, correct some nutritional deficiencies and boost the adrenals or liver. It’s the medical equivalent of filling in potholes with cheap cement—it might not look pretty, but now you can drive on it. Healing, however, is more complex. It’s more convoluted, hard to define and get a firm grasp on. It is also highly individual. It might mean ripping up the entire road, plumbing and all, and building a new one or, even better, planting grass and flowers in the road’s place and nurturing that grass on a daily basis. Healing might be creating something entirely new, something that no one has ever heard of or seen before. Creating is scary. Creativity takes courage, and so does healing.

No matter what it might look like, I believe healing begins with a conversation and a willingness to look inwards, without judgement. Healing also requires an acceptance of what is, even if the individual doesn’t feel ready to take actions to heal just yet. Healing deserves us acknowledging that something is a band-aid solution. Healing definitely demands listening, especially to the body. Therefore, healing might begin in meditation. It might start with a mind-searing migraine that lands you on the couch and the thought, “What if, instead of reaching for the Advil, I just rested a little bit today?” Healing might just start there and it might never end. But, if it does, who knows where it might end up?

The Dangerous Single Story of the Standard Medical Model

The Dangerous Single Story of the Standard Medical Model

IMG_6021A singular narrative is told and retold regarding medicine in the west. The story goes roughly like this: the brightest students are accepted into medical schools where they learn­—mainly through memorization—anatomy, physiology, pathology, diagnostics, microbiology, and the other “ologies” to do with the human physique. They then become doctors. These doctors then choose a specialty, often associated with a specific organ system (dermatology) or group of people (pediatrics), who they will concentrate their knowledge on. The majority of the study that these doctors undergo concerns itself with establishing a diagnosis, i.e.: producing a label, for the patient’s condition. Once a diagnosis has been established, selecting a treatment becomes standardized, outlined often in a cookbook-like approach through guidelines that have been established by fellow doctors and pharmaceutical research.

The treatment that conventional doctors prescribe has its own single story line involving substances, “drugs”, that powerfully over-ride the natural physiology of the body. These substances alter the body’s processes to make them “behave” in acceptable ways: is the body sending pain signals? Shut them down. Acid from the stomach creeping into the esophagus? Turn off the acid. The effectiveness of such drugs are tested against identified variables, such as placebo, to establish a cause and effect relationship between the drug and the result it produces in people. Oftentimes the drug doesn’t work and then a new one must be tried. Sometimes several drugs are tried at once. Some people get better. Some do not. When the list is exhausted, or a diagnosis cannot be established, people are chucked from the system. This is often where the story ends. Oftentimes the ending is not a happy one.

On July 1st, naturopathic doctors moved under the Regulated Health Professionals Act in the province of Ontario. We received the right to put “doctor” on our websites and to order labs without a physician signing off on them. However, we lost the right to inject, prescribe vitamin D over 1000 IU and other mainstay therapies we’d been trained in and been practicing safely for years, without submitting to a prescribing exam by the Canadian Pharmacists Association. Naturopathic doctors could not sit at the table with the other regulated health professions in the province until we proved we could reproduce the dominant story of western medicine—this test would ensure we had.

Never mind that this dominant story wasn’t a story about our lives or the medicine we practice—nowhere in the pages of the texts we were to read was the word “heal” mentioned. Nowhere in those pages was there an acknowledgement about the philosophy of our own medicine, a respect towards the body’s own self-healing mechanisms and the role nature has to play in facilitating that healing process. It was irrelevant that the vast majority of this story left out our years of clinical experience. The fact that we already knew a large part of the dominant story, as do the majority of the public, was set aside as well. We were to take a prescribing course and learn how primary care doctors (general practitioners, family doctors and pediatricians), prescribe drugs. We were to read accounts of the “ineffectiveness” of our own therapies in the pages of this narrative. This would heavy-handedly dismiss the experience of the millions of people around the world who turn to alternative medicine every year and experience success.

We were assured that there were no direct biases or conflict of interests (no one was directly being paid by the companies who manufacture these drugs). However, we forget that to have one story is to be inherently and dangerously biased. Whatever the dominant story is, it strongly implies that there is one “truth” that it is known and that it is possessed by the people who tell and retell it. Other stories are silenced. (Author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie describes this phenomenon in her compelling TED Talk, “The Danger of a Single Story”).

Despite the time and money it cost me, taking the prescribing course afforded me an opportunity to step outside of the discouraging, dominant story of the standard medical model and thicken the subordinate stories that permeate the natural and alternative healing modalities. These stories began thousands of years ago, in India and in China, at the very root of medicine itself. They have formed native ancestral traditions and kept entire populations and societies alive and thriving for millennia. Because our stories are not being told as often, or told in the context of “second options” or “last resorts”, when the dominant narratives seem to fail us, the people who tell them run the risk of being marginalized or labeled “pseudoscientific.” These dismissals, however, tell us less about The Truth and more about the rigid simplicity of the singular story of the medical model.

It is frightening to fathom that our body, a product of nature itself, encompasses mysteries that are possibly beyond the realm of our capacity for understanding. It’s horrifying to stand in a place of acknowledgement of our own lack of power against nature, at the inevitability of our own mortality. However, if we refuse to acknowledge these truths, we close ourselves off to entire systems that can teach us to truly heal ourselves, to work with the body’s wisdom and to embrace the forces of nature that surround us. The stories that follow are not capital T truths, however, they can enrich the singular story that we in the west have perpetuated for so long surrounding healing.

The body cannot be separated into systems. Rather than separating depression and diarrhea into psychiatry and gastroenterology, respectively, natural medicine acknowledges the interconnectivity between the body’s systems, none of which exist in a vacuum. When one system is artificially manipulated, others are affected. Likewise, an illness in one system may result in symptoms in another. There have been years of documentation about the gut-brain connection, which the medical model has largely ignored when it comes to treatment. The body’s processes are intricately woven together; tug on one loose thread and the rest either tightens or unravels.

We, as products of nature, may never achieve dominion over it. Pharmaceutical drugs powerfully alter the body’s natural physiology, often overriding it. Since these drugs are largely manmade, isolated from whole plants or synthesized in a lab, they are not compounds found naturally. Despite massive advances in science, there are oceans of what we don’t know. Many of these things fit into the realm of “we don’t know what we don’t know”—we lack the knowledge sufficient to even ask the right questions. Perhaps we are too complex to ever truly understand how we are made. Ian Stewart once wrote, “If our brains were simple enough for us to understand them, then we’d be so simple that we couldn’t.” And yet, accepting this fact, we synthesize chemicals that alter single neurotransmitters, disrupting our brain chemistry, based on our assumption that some people are born in need of “correcting” and we have knowledge of how to go about this corrective process. Such is the arrogance of the medical model.

There are always more than two variables in stories of disease and yet the best studies, the studies that dictate our knowledge, are done with two variables: the drug and its measured outcome. Does acetaminophen decrease pain in patients with arthritis when compared to placebo? A criticism of studies involving natural medicine is that there are too many variables—more than one substance is prescribed, the therapeutic relationship and lifestyle changes exert other effects, a population of patients who value their health are different than those who do not, the clinical experience is more attentive, and so on. With so many things going on, how can we ever know what is producing the effect? However, medicine is limited in effect if we restrict ourselves to the prescription of just one thing. This true in herbalism, where synergy in whole plants offers a greater effect than the sum of their isolated parts. By isolating a single compound from a plant, science shows us that we may miss out on powerful healing effects. Like us, plants have evolved to survive and thrive in nature; their DNA contains wisdom of its own. Stripping the plant down to one chemical is like diluting all of humanity down to a kidney. There is a complexity to nature that we may never understand with our single-minded blinders on.

Studies are conducted over the periods of weeks and, rarely, months, but very rarely are studies done over years or lifetimes. Therefore, we often look for fast results more than signs of healing. This is unfortunate because, just as it takes time to get sick, it takes time to heal. I repeat the previous sentence like a mantra so patients who have been indoctrinated into a medical system that produces rapid results can reset expectations about how soon they will see changes. Sometimes a Band-Aid is an acceptable therapy; few of us can take long, hard looks at our lives and begin an often painful journey in uncovering what hidden thought process or lifestyle choices may be contributing to the symptoms we’re experiencing. However, the option of real healing should be offered to those who are ready and willing.

When we study large masses of people, we forget about individuality. When we start at the grassroots level working with patients on the individual level, we familiarize ourselves with their stories, what healing means to them. In science, large studies are favoured over small ones. However, in studies of thousands of people, singular voices and experiences are drowned out. We lose the eccentric individualities of each person, their genetic variability, their personalities, their preferences and their past experiences. We realize that not everyone fits into a diagnostic category and yet still suffers. We realize that not everyone gets better with the standard treatments and the standard dosages. Starting at the level of the individual enables a clinician to search for methods and treatments and protocols that benefit each patient, rather than fitting individuals into a top-down approach that leaves many people left out of the system to suffer in silence.

It is important to ask the question, “why is this happening?” The root cause of disease, which naturopathic medicine claims to treat is not always evident and sometimes not always treatable. However, the willingness to ask the question and manipulate the circumstances that led to illness in the first place is the first step to true and lasting healing; everything else is merely a band-aid solution, potentially weakening the body’s vitality over time. No drug or medical intervention is a worthy substitute for clean air, fresh abundant water, nutritious food, fulfilling work and social relationships, a connection to a higher purpose, power or philosophy and, of course, good old regular movement. The framework for good health must be established before anything else can hope to have an effect.

The system of naturopathic medicine parallels in many ways the system of conventional pharmaceutical-based medicine. We both value science, we both strive to understand what we can about the body and we value knowledge unpolluted by confusing variables or half-truths. However, there are stark differences in the healing philosophies that can’t be compared. These differences strengthen us and provide patients with choice, rather than threatening the establishment. The time spent with patients, the principles of aiming for healing the root cause and working with individuals, rather than large groups, offer a complement to a system that often leaves people out.

There are as many stories of healing and medicine as there are patients. Anyone who has ever consulted a healthcare practitioner, taken a medicine or soothed a cold with lemon and honey, has experienced some kind of healing and has begun to form a narrative about their experience. Anyone with a body has an experience of illness, healing or having been healed. Those of us who practice medicine have our own experience about what works, what heals and what science and tradition can offer us in the practice of our work. Medicine contains in its vessel millions of stories: stories of doubt, hopelessness, healing, practitioner burnout, cruises paid for my pharmaceutical companies, scientific studies, bias, miracle cures, promise, hope and, most of all, a desire to enrich knowledge and uncover truth. Through collecting these stories and honouring each one of them as little truth droplets in the greater ocean of understanding, we will be able to deepen our appreciation for the mystery of the bodies we inhabit, learn how to thrive within them and understand how to help those who suffer inside of them, preferably not in silence.

Balancing Hormones for Healthy Weight Loss

Balancing Hormones for Healthy Weight Loss

New Doc 8_5This is a common story that can describe any number of patients I see in my private practice: My patient has been doing well–she’s been exercising regularly; she’s been cutting out sugar and processed foods and watching what she eats. She’s been having salads for lunch. She’s even gotten her husband on board! He’s started to have salads for lunch with his cheeseburger (instead of fries) and given up having a row of cookies in the evening. All things considered, she’s been doing great. However, despite her best efforts, after one month of tiresome slog, restriction and dedication, she’s only managed to lose a few pounds. Her husband? He’s lost 10.

“He has more to lose,” I suggest to her. “Those few pounds you’ve lost are gone for life—slow and steady stays off forever.” I am her cheerleader, but the truth is: hormones, especially when it comes to women.

Hormones are the body’s telegrams. They are produced in glands in tissue like the gut, ovaries, adrenals and brain and act on distant cells in the body, telling them how to behave. When it comes to weight loss, hormones can be the culprit if diet and exercise have failed to produce results. Hormones control appetite, mood, food cravings, metabolic rate, fat gain and distribution and hunger, among other things. Any hormonal imbalance will sabotage weight loss efforts and it’s often the first place I look when a patient has weight loss goals that they aren’t achieving with diet and exercise alone.

The Players:

There are numerous hormones in the body that are responsible for the above actions, however the main ones that we can affect through diet and lifestyle are insulin, cortisol, estrogen and the thyroid hormones. These are just some key players in a team, however just by working on these four, we can start to see results.

Interconnectedness:

Hormones are complex entities, not only for the wide array of effects, but for their tendency to effect the action of each other. For example, high cortisol can effect levels of estrogen, insulin and the thyroid hormones. High insulin can affect cortisol and estrogen. And so on. Working on hormones is like attacking a giant knot and often requires starting from the basics: diet and lifestyle.

Insulin Imbalance:

Insulin is an important hormone in the body—we can’t live without it. Released by the pancreas after a carbohydrate-rich meal in response to rising levels of sugar in the blood, insulin gets sugar into cells where it can be used as fuel. It also brings down blood sugar, making it a main culprit in hypoglycemic crashes and sugar cravings. The problem with insulin, however, is when we overeat carbohydrates and sugar, we overuse the insulin response. The result is abdominal fat, weight gain (insulin tells the body to store fat), a blood sugar roller coaster, mood swings (that “hangry” feeling) and intense sugar cravings and energy crashes.

Balancing Insulin:

Insulin is best balanced by diet, particularly managing carbohydrate intake and emphasizing healthy fats and protein in the diet. Fat and protein slow sugar absorption. This prevents a rise in blood sugar and decreases the need for insulin. The result is feeling satiated for longer, having stable energy and decreasing food cravings.

Morning protein:

The first step in balancing insulin release is to increase morning protein. I recommend aiming for 30 g of good quality, lean protein for breakfast like a chicken breast, or scoop of whey isolate protein powder in a whole foods smoothie. I was once accused jokingly of “not knowing that breakfast is”, when recommending chicken breasts for breakfast. However, perhaps it’s North America that has a skewed sense of what makes a decent morning meal. If the aim of breakfast is to break the fast that you’ve had throughout the night, then starting it off with a high-carb, high-sugar, nutrient-sparse piece of toast or bowl of breakfast cereal seems crazy to me. In Colombia and India, two places I’ve spent some time, we started off the day with a protein-rich stew or meat soup.

To balance insulin make sure that every meal, even snacks, contain some form of protein or a fat. Avoid eating carbohydrates by themselves and keep servings of carbs to a minimum and in their unprocessed, whole form (like large flake oats, quinoa and brown rice as opposed to flours or cereals).

Cortisol Imbalance:

One of the main hormone imbalances I notice when it comes to stubborn weight gain is cortisol imbalance. Cortisol is the stress hormone. It’s released by the adrenal glands, two pyramid-shaped endocrine glands that sit on top of the kidneys, in response to stress. Animals have two modes of operation: fight or flight or rest and digest. Cortisol increases blood sugar and alertness and tells the body to divert attention to gearing us up for combat or escape, and moves us away from investing energy in digestion, immunity and concentration. Cortisol is a wonderful hormone; it keeps us awake, and makes us feel alert and well, priming us to be effective in our busy, stressful lives. However, our bodies weren’t made for long-term stress response and we spend most of our time in fight or flight mode.

Cortisol and blood sugar:

Cortisol raises blood sugar, causing insulin to be released. This starts us on a blood sugar roller coaster trip, leading to sugar cravings, energy crashes and storing fat.

Cortisol and fat distribution:

Cortisol doesn’t directly tell the body to store fat (it happens through other mechanisms that happen in response to high cortisol), but it does encourage fat redistribution. Cortisol tells the body to move fat from the hips and thighs and deposit in the abdomen, face and shoulders, leading to the sexy “Buffalo Hump”. We know that abdominal fat carries more health risks than fat in other areas of the body so this detail can be troublesome when it comes to long-term effects.

Cortisol and the thyroid:

Cortisol impacts the thyroid by preventing the conversion of T4 to the more active T3. T3 and T4 are important thyroid hormones that set the body’s metabolic rate, among other things.

Cortisol and the sex hormones:

Cortisol can lead to estrogen dominance by diverting resources away from estrogen and progesterone production. In menopause, this is particularly troublesome, as the body relies on the adrenal glands, rather than the ovaries, to produce the sex hormones. High cortisol can result in progesterone deficiency and estrogen dominance symptoms, which can negatively affect weight loss. Cortisol also causing accelerated aging and who wants that?

Cortisol Balancing:

The main thing when it comes to cortisol balancing is to Calm Down—or as I like to poignantly put it, Calm the F#$% Down. The way this is done is highly individualized. Some recommendations I have are: meditation, yoga, exploring acupuncture (a wonderful way to balance cortisol, among other things), journaling, taking a day off, re-evaluating priorities at work and at home, etc. Mainly, getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night is essential for managing the stress response.

Taking it easy:

When it comes to weight loss, I often notice that certain efforts hinder our progress. It’s important to keep caloric intake adequate—eating too few calories can stress the body out, causing cortisol release. It’s also important to manage exercise. While exercise can teach the body how to manage stress, it does produce cortisol in the short-term. Therefore it’s important to keep exercise short and intense. Weight-training, short bursts of cardio (no more than 20 minutes) and varying intensities with High Intensity Interval Training, Tabata or Crossfit, are the best choices for weight loss. Training for a marathon or long-distance bike race may be fun and fulfilling, but they are not the best choices for weight loss, as they prolong the stress response and can work against you, rather than in your favour.

When I have a patient who is intensely tracking what they eat and over-exercising my advice is often (and it’s not that well-received, as you can imagine) “Take it easy”. Easing up on exercise and relaxing calorie-counting may be hidden pieces in the weight loss game.

Herbs and supplements:

There are a variety of nutrients to take to support adrenal function. The main things to consider, with the advice and counsel of a trained naturopathic doctor are B-vitamins, magnesium and adaptogenic herbs (the help the body adapt to stress).

Estrogen Dominance:

Estrogen, actually a group of hormones, are female sex hormones. Their main job is to promote the expression of female sex characteristics, the growth of breast tissue and to control ovulation. Estrogen also causes body to fat to be distributed to the thighs, buttocks and lower abdomen. The problem with modern society is an imbalance in the two female sex hormones, estrogen and progesterone. Due to stress and toxic environmental estrogens, or xenoestrogens, among other things, modern women have more estrogen relative to progesterone in their bodies. The effects of this are numerous and include, stubborn weight gain in the thighs (the famed “saddlebags), cellulite, acne, PMS, painful menstrual periods, fibroids, hormonal conditions such as PCOS, and the occurrence of certain female cancers, especially breast cancer. Estrogen can also contribute significantly to anxiety symptoms.

Estrogen balancing:

Correcting estrogen dominance primarily involves supporting estrogen detox pathways in the liver. Chemicals such as I3C, DIIM and calcium-d-glucarate help increase the liver’s ability to clear foreign estrogens from the body. Supporting digestive health also allows us to remove estrogens—they are neutralized in the liver and eliminated through the colon. Leafy greens contain a high amount of these chemicals, so ensuring you get adequate amounts in your diet is important for estrogen metabolism. Ground flaxseed, rosemary and fish oil are also important nutrients for clearing excess estrogen from the body.

Reducing exposure:

Try to reduce exposure to foreign estrogens by avoiding the use of plastic bottles and plastic-lined cans, using natural skincare and body products and natural cleaning aids whenever possible. It’s also important to see a naturopathic doctor 2-4 times a year for a medically-assisted natural detoxification to clear the body of toxic estrogens.

Hypothyroidism:

The thyroid gland sits on the neck, just below the Adam’s Apple. It releases two hormones T4, and the more active T3. These hormones are responsible for setting the body’s metabolic rate—converting fat into heat and energy. Thyroid deficiency, or hypothyroidism is more common in our society than we think (naturopathic doctors have stricter criteria for laboratory reference ranges than conventional medicine—we look for signs of health, not disease). Conventional medicine deems hypothyroidism as having a TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) level above 5—for this hormone, all you need to know is lower is better—however ND’s will start to treat the thyroid when symptoms are present and TSH is above 2.5. Symptoms of hypothyroidism are stubborn weight gain, constipation, feeling cold, fatigue, especially brain fog, weak memory, hair loss, dry skin and thinning of the eyebrows.

Supporting the thyroid:

The thyroid gland is a fragile organ, sensitive to inflammation and stress. When there is inflammation in the body, often caused by stress, diet or insulin resistance, the thyroid is the first gland to suffer. Most cases of hypothyroidism are autoimmune in nature. Therefore, naturopathic doctors aim to correct inflammation by prescribing an anti-inflammatory diet and looking for food sensitivities. When we identify food sensitivities (through specialized IgG antibody testing or an elimination diet) and remove them from the diet, we can focus on gut healing which treats inflammation and helps repair the thyroid.

Managing stress:

Low calorie diets have the effect of suppressing thyroid function, which leads to the yo-yo dieting effect. Avoid extremely low calorie diets, or opt for intermittent fasting or calorie-cycling instead. Aim for slow and steady weight loss so as not to harm metabolic rate, which makes weight loss more difficult in the long run.

I previously mentioned that cortisol can harm the thyroid and that hormones are interlinked. Cortisol prevents the conversion of T4 to the more active T3, which can slow metabolism.

Nutrients:

A deficiency in iodine, zinc, iron and selenium, among other nutrients, can negatively impact the thyroid. Talk your naturopathic doctor about testing and supplementation.

Summary:

What would a visit to a naturopathic doctor look like? When it comes to hormones, treatment is often complex as it targets the root cause of symptoms and involves detangling the complicated web of hormones that are at play. This can require some diagnostic detective work. A naturopathic doctor will take your complete health history, order labs and perform physical exams if necessary. A common treatment plan might look like this:

  1. Sleep: 7-9 hours per night
  2. Take stress seriously: sign up for a round of acupuncture, start meditation, do yoga, journal, etc.
  3. Measure hormones via saliva: cortisol, testosterone, DHEA, estrogen, progesterone
  4. Identify food sensitivities via an elimination diet or an IgG Food Panel that tests for antibodies to certain foods in the blood.
  5. Correct nutritient deficiencies through diet and supplementation
  6. Herbs for hormonal support: estrogen detoxification, thyroid support, gut healing, adrenal support, glucose control and blood sugar balancing.
  7. Exercise: short, intense bursts that target muscle-building
  8. Diet: high protein, especially in the morning, healthy fats, low carbs and eliminate sugar, processed foods and food sensitivities.

To learn more about how naturopathic medicine can help you lose weight, balance hormones and fight disease, contact my clinic Bloor West Wellness at 416 588 0400 to set up an initial appointment. Let’s get started today!

Want to balance your hormones, energy and mood naturally? Check out my 6-week foundational membership program Good Mood Foundations. taliand.com/good-mood-learn

Stories of Street Medicine

Stories of Street Medicine

New Doc 29_1I was recently told that a benefactor would contact me about the work I’ve been doing for the Evergreen Yonge Street Mission in Toronto—I provide naturopathic services to street-involved youth twice a month in the drop-in health clinic. There is a natural health company that might be interested in sponsoring some of the naturopathic services. However, in order to understand where their money is going, they want to hear some success stories before they consider if and how much to donate. Are the services working? They want to know. Since I, more than anyone, appreciate the power of a story and, since I’m trying to raise some money to expand the services I provide myself, I thought I’d tell one. Names and details have been changed.

A shift at the mission lasts a few hours. Youth sign up for the adolescent medicine specialist and her Sick Kid’s Hospital resident, dental work or me, the naturopath, represented under the heading “naturopathic medicine/acupuncture”. There is no money for supplements—and supplements can be expensive—and the youth I treat don’t have money to buy food let alone a bottle of melatonin. So I do acupuncture.

Eduardo was waiting when it I called him. He was lying face up on the bench in the waiting area, looking at a pamphlet on “dope addiction”. He was wearing sunglasses. When he came into the visit, he didn’t take them off, despite the low-level lighting of the treatment room I occupy. It felt strange to talk to someone’s dark glasses, not making eye contact with them as we spoke. I wondered vaguely if I should tell him to take off the glasses, and then left it alone—his comfort as the patient should take priority over mine. Why challenge his autonomy and further push the power imbalance by telling him to do something that was not fully necessary? I worked around the glasses, moving them aside slightly in order to needle the acupuncture point yin tang, located between the eyebrows. The glasses stayed on. So be it.

Eduardo and I spoke Spanish, as his English wasn’t strong. He spoke of feeling shaky, showing me his tremoring hand to prove it. When did the shakiness start? I inquired. When I overdosed on crack, he explained. Well, that would do it, I thought to myself, although you can imagine my clinical experience with crack overdose was limited—there aren’t that many crack overdoses in Bloor West Village.

As it turned out, Eduardo had a significant dependence on marijuana, smoking 7 grams a day while in his home country. When he bought pot on the streets in Toronto, however, he found one deal laced with crack. He ended up in the hospital after smoking it. Another time, his weed was laced with meth.

He held his hand up. I watched it shake. He told me his whole body felt shaky. This would be exacerbated further if he stopped smoking marijuana, he assured me. Had he ever stopped before? I asked. Yes, he said. Why did he stop? I asked him, taking a de-centred approach while staying curious about preferred ways of being. In this case I suspected he preferred to be sober—after all, something had made him stop.

The cost, he explained.

Ah, that, I thought. Well, it makes sense.

Any other reason? I asked him.

He explained that his family didn’t approve. I asked him why. What might they think of marijuana? What did they see him do when he was high that led to their disapproval. Eduardo couldn’t answer. He changed the subject and explained he’d gone back to weed after quitting it that time because it helped him sleep. Since the episode with the crack overdose, though, sleep was difficult. That’s why he was here: to get acupuncture to help with sleep.

Eduardo spoke in a low voice, often responding with a word or two. Despite the glasses shielding his eyes, he kept his gaze on the floor. When I had him lie on the treatment table, I encouraged him to close his eyes and rest while the acupuncture worked.

After a few minutes, I removed the needles. He thanked me shyly and left. Like many of the people I treat, I figured the odds were high I’d never see him again.

I was surprised, then, that a month later, I saw him in the waiting area again.

The visit went pretty much the same way as the first with one key difference. The second time he came in, Eduardo removed his glasses, meeting my eyes for the first time.

I was touched.

His sleep was still bad. His mood was still low. He hadn’t smoked crack for a while. He was living in a shelter; his family had kicked him out because of his addiction to marijuana. He implied great trauma in his home country, however he didn’t say much more about it. He mentioned regretting that his English was poor—it had been traumatic to come to Canada.

He told me he was applying for medical marijuana. It would be a safer way to smoke, he told me.

He was practicing harm reduction on himself. I asked him if he considered this “taking steps.” He nodded. I asked him about any other steps he’d been considering. He mentioned swimming. Swimming had been a passion of his in his home country. I got more details about his goals: how often did he want to swim? Where? He decided that 3-5 times a week at the local pool would be ideal. I asked him what he’d first have to do to make that happen. Check the pool times, he answered.

I asked him if he’d ever considered quitting marijuana. He said no, he needed it to sleep and to manage his anxiety. But, you know, it was expensive. And, of course, he repeated, his parents had an issue with it. That was a problem for him. I asked him why it was a problem.

It’s a problem… he repeated. He said nothing more.

We did more acupuncture. He went on his way.

Two weeks later, Eduardo came to see me again. He took his glasses off as soon as he saw me.

He reported his sleep was better. He had been swimming 3 times a week at the local pool. He hadn’t smoked crack in a month. He’d stopped marijuana the last time he saw me. He hadn’t smoked for two weeks. He showed me his hand. It wasn’t shaking.

Do you think these are positive developments? I asked him.

He shrugged nonchalantly but failed to disguise the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth. He looked down.

I put in some acupuncture needles and asked him what his next steps might be. He answered that he thought he might call his old boss back and get back to work. Then he wanted to save money so he could move out of the shelter he was in.

He then started to talk a little bit about his brother who was killed in his home country and his friends who’d betrayed him to another gang resulting in him having to flee for his life. He talked about receiving premonitions in his dreams. This made sleep difficult, but it had also caused him to act and avoid harm—he’d learned from a dream that his friends were untrustworthy. We wondered together if this was more than a source of anxiety, but a special skill that kept him safe. Maybe he wouldn’t have to be vigilant if important warnings came to him in his dreams. I wondered if marijuana, along with helping hims sleep had hindered that gift. He thought about that for a while.

When he left he asked me how many more acupuncture treatments he might need. I told him to come in as often as he liked but 8-10 was a good starting point.

Ok, he said, it’s been 3 so far.

Right, I said. It’s been 3.

Ok, he said. See you in two weeks.

He put his glasses back on and walked out into the chaos of Yonge Street. There was a street festival going on.

At one point in my time spent with Eduardo, one of the staff at the mission inquired about his mental capacities. Apparently the psychiatrist he’d been working with was considering a diagnosis of mental retardation or severe learning disability–it was taking him so long to learn English and he was often slow to answer questions.

No disrespect to psychiatry: the more I work with mental health, the more respect I have for the utility, albeit limited, of psychiatric assessments and medications. For many people, and when applied delicately and sensitively, these things add powerful meaning and serve as important life savers. However, I want to emphasize the importance of lowering practitioner power, understanding the challenges another person may face in their life and respecting the autonomy, decision-making power and special skills of the individual who seeks health care. In addition, rather than looking for the problem in the person, what success stories are they bringing forth? What goals have been set and what steps have been taken already?

I often comment that the stories I hear and the conversations I have in the work I do are not the least bit depressing. Sure, the youth have dark, complicated, often horrific pasts. However, every individual is a collection of hopes, dreams, goals and personal strengths and abilities. Every person that comes to see me wants something more for themselves and has already exercised an ability to move closer to their preferred ways of being in the world, showing me the incredible capacity for human strength and endurance. The only difference, between the perspective I get to enjoy and the one seen by other health professionals, however, is that I look for stories of strength. Because strength is always there, waiting for a thoughtful question to bring it into the light.

To contribute to the Yonge Street Mission naturopathic services and for more information on the campaign, please click here. Donations are made in USD.

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