Someone, I think it was Eckhart Tolle, once said that when it comes to mental illness, anxiety is about worry for the future, while depression is concerned with regret for the past. While, I’m not entirely (or even nearly) convinced that this is true, there is little doubt that those with both depression and anxiety can get caught in the paralysis of going over past events and regrets in their minds. Therefore, healing regret becomes important for reframing our past experiences and present identity and improving mood and self-esteem.
Regret is a sticky emotion. It reminds us of who we once were. It’s the cold hand on the shoulder and the voice that whispers “remember…” in our ear when we’re getting a little too confident, when we’re actually feeling happy with who we are now.
My patients will often tell me that when they find themselves in a spiral of low mood, their minds are often playing and replaying past events over and over. They mull over painful memories until they are distorted, painting themselves as the villain the more they rewind and press play. Remembering in this way smears grey over their entire sense of self, and discolours the possibilities they see for themselves in the future and, worse, their abilities to take meaningful action in the present. It leads to deep feelings of self-hate and worthlessness. It causes feelings of hopelessness. And so I tell them this:
Regret, while painful, is not always bad. It is a reflection, a comparison between two people: the person you are now and the person you used to be. When this comparison is particularly vast, when the you you used to be is particularly painful to remember, then know this; you have changed. Regret comes with looking back with pain, wishing we’d taken a different course of action than the ones taken. However, when we flip this concept over and examine its shinier underbelly, we realize that in order to feel regretful about past events we are acknowledging that we (present we) would not have performed the same action or made the same choice now. The flip side is not that we’re bad, it’s a reflection of our goodness. We have learned and evolved. We’re different.
Looking back is different from looking forward. Our lessons are what shape us. The fact that we regret is proof that we learn, we grow and we change into better, preferred versions of ourselves. If we sit in the experience of regret, we can feel proud that, if faced with the same situation today, we’d be better. Regret doesn’t mean that we are bad people, it’s proof that we’re good people. In order to regret the past we’ve had to have changed.
To transform mulling over painful life choices and past actions, I recommend a writing exercise, inspired by Narrative Therapy. In every story of regret and “badness” there is also a story of values, skills, preferred identity and goodness. The next time you find yourself cycling through feelings of regret grab a pen and paper and answer the following questions:
1) What happened? What were the events that transpired? What did you do? What did other people in the story do? What were the events leading up to the action you and others took? What was the context surrounding you at the time? What influenced your decision to act as you did?
2) Looking back, what would you have done differently? What parts are particularly painful to remember? What actions or events do you regret?
3) What might these regrets say about you now? What might it say about you to know that you would have acted differently if you were faced with the same situation? What values do you embody that enable you to recognize that what you did in the past was regretful for you?
4) Looking at these values, how have you shown you have this value in the past in other situations? Do you have a particular story you remember?
5) How has that value or skill made an impact on the lives of others? In the story that you remembered, what might the actions you took in #4 have meant to the people around you?
6) How do you embody this value in the present? Where does it show up in the actions you take today? How might you embody this value in the future? What actions might you take while remembering this value? What does remembering this value and the story from #4 make possible for the future?
Going through this writing exercise can help us look back with more compassion for the person we were, who was growing into the person we are now. It might make possible ways that we can rectify anyone or anything was impacted in the past, if it means an apology, paying forward a good act, taking different steps in a similar present situation or even moving on and letting go of our tendency to hold onto the memory.
When our minds are stressed, how do our bodies react? We experience something called “adrenal fatigue” that can closely mimic the symptoms of depression.
Hi, naturopathic doctor, Talia Marcheggiani, here. I’m a mental health expert and I’m at Bloor West Wellness Clinic and today we’re going to talk about the Stress-Depression Connection.
Most of us are stressed in North America. There’s a major stress epidemic. We know that anywhere from 70-90% of doctors’ visits are directly or indirectly attributed to stress and the symptoms that it causes in the body.
Most people are stressed, I think the estimate is 70% to 90% of North American women are experiencing some kind of chronic stress. Many are unaware of it and very few are doing anything about it or actively managing their stress through methods of self-care, relaxation techniques, and other therapies to lower the cortisol, or the stress hormones, that are producing that chronic stress in the body.
So, physiologically, when we get stressed, so, let’s say, you know, you’re in the paleolithic times, you’re walking through the forest and you encounter a giant bear running towards you. Our bodies would immediately start secreting epinephrine, or adrenaline, which is the first stress hormone. This is released from the adrenal glands, these pyramid-shaped endocrine or hormone glands, located on top of both of our kidneys. Epinephrine, or adrenaline, many of us have felt the effects of before, this makes our heart race, we start sweating, we start to, you know, you might feel like you have to go to the washroom, you might notice digestive effects. What will happen is, our blood vessels will dilate, our pupils will dilate, so that we can’t see fine detail but we can see movement much more easily so we can see the subtle movements of the bear lunging towards us and our body is primed for fight, flight or freezing so that we can get away from this immediate stressor, this threat to our safety and survival.
And really incredible things can happen when we’re in this hyper-arousal state, this sympathetic nervous system state.
A friend of mine was walking in Greece and she fell off a side walk, the side walk just ended, and in the fall, she fell off like cliff, and one of her arms broke so, she managed, in this superhuman ability, that all of a sudden she had, through the adrenaline that was coursing through her body to deal with this stress and surprise, she with the hand that wasn’t broken, grabbed the edge of the sidewalk and pulled herself to safety. And this was a woman, my friend, that can’t even do one pull-up she can’t do pushups, she doesn’t have the arm strength to, in a calm and not hyper-aroused state, perform that kind of physical act.
So, epinephrine and the stress response is amazingly powerful. This stress response can save our lives if called into action for the right reasons and at the right time.
However what’s going on in North America now, is that, especially in this modern society that we live in, with technology and all of the stressors that we’re encountering on a day-to-day basis and the pressures we put on ourselves, we’re in the hyper-arousal state far more often than normal.
Back when we were chased by bears and we had to respond physiologically to that stressor, we would have just, as soon as we reached safety or finished fighting the bear, or froze, played dead, so the bear would walk away, we would have returned back to a state of relaxation. I mean, our hearts would have continued to pound as we kind of got over that stressor, but eventually we would have returned to our rest and digest state, our parasympathetic state.
Back in those days we used to work an estimated 15 hours a week hunting, gathering food, um, in our paleolithic time, in our hunter-gatherer times, which is what our genes have evolved to succeed in—our genes haven’t evolved to catch up with the rapid change in the environment that we’ve created for ourselves and so we’re not used to working 40 to 80-hour work weeks and racing home, through traffic, to pick up the kids and do after school activities and finish up late assignments, getting to get after 12 pm and getting up at 6 am to do a workout so we can lose weight and all of the things that are filling our lives and causing us stress.
The issue with many of the women that I work with, many of the people that I work with, is that we don’t really notice that we’re under stress, like a lot of people will say that they don’t feel stressed and then the signs and symptoms that they’re bodies are exhibiting point me in a direction of some kind of stress response.
So, I described what adrenaline/epinephrine do. But our body doesn’t have a very big reserve of adrenaline and epinephrine, so when we’re in that fight or flight response for prolonged periods of time, the adrenal glands, those pyramid-shaped glands on top of the kidneys, they start to secrete another hormone, called cortisol.
Cortisol has some similar effects, but it’s better for prolonged periods of stress. Cortisol kind of makes us feel alert, it gives us this grounded energy so we can be effective when we have these daily things thrown at us. So, when we wake up in the morning, we feel kind of groggy and then we start to feel alert, maybe we have a quick workout or cold shower or we eat something, we start to feel like we’re becoming alive, we’re greeting the day. That’s cortisol starting to build up in our bodies and prepare us for the things that we have to do, for the mental tasks, or the physical tasks, or the juggling of all the tasks that we have coming up for us in that day.
Cortisol is a good thing. We want to have cortisol because without it, we can’t perform, we can’t be who we need to be. And we can’t bring ourselves into the world and do the things that we’re supposed to do that day.
The problem is, of course, and I’ve already mentioned this, is when stress is prolonged and when stress is taking over more than 50% of our day and our bodies are in that fight or flight state for more time than they’re in the rest and digest state.
Some of the effects of being in this state and, as I mentioned, a fair amount of us are this state most of the time, or have to be. Some of the effects are high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart diseases, even some cancers, suppressed immunity, things like skin issues, hormonal imbalances, such as infertility, or PCOS or endometriosis, changes in eyesight, changes in hearing, hair loss, acne, impotence, and various other symptoms. And, of course, depression and mental illness.
One of the effects of cortisol is that it can lower serotonin, which is the feel-good, the happy neurotransmitters that our brain secretes and dopamine, another neurotransmitter that promotes feelings of well-bring and happy mood and also helps with that motivation and reward cycle.
Cortisol also controls inflammation and, when we have too much of it, it suppresses inflammation, but once we start to become deficient in cortisol, inflammation can increase and when our body’s relying on cortisol all the time, the balance of cortisol can get thrown off and we can have highs and lows of cortisol in the body.
We know that there is an implication in inflammation and mood, so cortisol is often at the root of excess inflammation or inflammatory symptoms.
There’s also a condition that’s not really recognized in conventional medicine, but naturopathic doctors recognize, as well as functional doctors. So functional doctors and naturopathic doctors, we don’t really work with diseases that you come in with, I mean we work with those too, but where we really excel is when we’re looking at the patterns and the symptoms and the blood work showing disease processes before they actually become diseases. And I think depression and most mental health conditions fall in that area because we know that there’s no blood tests for things like depression. Direct blood tests, I mean. There’s no real diagnostic criteria beyond the subjective criteria that’s in the DSM V. So, when somebody’s depressed, we have to rely on a variety of symptoms and then I can order some blood tests to rule out why someone might be feeling that, but it’s not a disease like diabetes where you run lab tests and you can infer from those lab tests directly what’s going on in the person’s blood and in their body and in their cells. And, of course, the result or the solution for depression is much different than diabetes, especially type I diabetes where it’s an insulin deficiency, you inject insulin and the disease is managed.
With things like depression, we have to reason backwards and try and understand what might have led to those symptoms or what’s going on in the person’s body that’s causing this imbalance that’s causing the symptoms to arise.
So, back to adrenal fatigue. So, when patients come in, and they’re experiencing prolonged stress that begin with something called the resistance phase. So this is when you’re feeling like life is busy you have a lot on your plate, but it almost, you almost thrive in this situation. It feels kind of good. You feel like you’re in control, you feel motivated and you feel like you’re getting things done. You might be tired at the end of the day, you might not be sleeping as well as you could. And you’re definitely not feeling zen. You’re not feeling relaxed and like a Buddhist monk most of the time. You’re feeling that there’s pressure on you, but you’re coping. Things are ok. This is called the Resistance Phase. And this means that your body is producing enough cortisol to deal with the daily tasks at hand.
After months to years of this, however, if this prolonged and we’re not taking enough breaks to allow our bodies to replenish, we can experience something called Adrenal Fatigue. This is when our body’s not able to produce the cortisol needed to cover those daily tasks. So remember how I said that cortisol kind of makes us feel alert and alive and ready to deal with the day ahead of us. In Adrenal Fatigue we’re not able to activate that stress response when we need it because we’ve had it turned on all the time. It’s almost like the gas tank’s empty and we’re kind of sputtering to get it going again. We’re trying to get our car to run on the fumes that are leftover. And, we might call this Burnout, this is another word for it, is burnout.
And so, in adrenal fatigue, and this is a really common situation that often leads to depression and also often has symptoms that actually mirror or overlap with depression. In adrenal fatigue, first of all, the main symptom is just feeling tired, fatigued. There are sleep disturbances. We feel weak, we feel unmotivated, and one of the key symptoms is that we’re not relieved by exercise.
So a lot of my patients will tell me, “I want to exercise, I know I should exercise but I just don’t have the energy to exercise.” And I’ll ask them, “do you feel like you are able to push yourself to do some exercise, like go for a brisk 30-minute walk or even, you know, a quick jog. How do you feel afterwards?” And if they tell me they feel like it depletes them more, this is often a sign that they’re in that burnout phase, they’re in adrenal fatigue.
Because when you’re in a resistance phase, exercise can kind of boost your cortisol a little bit, so if you’re still able to make it, it feels pretty good because it kind of revives you and it perks you back up. But if you’re in an adrenal fatigue situation, you just don’t have the cortisol reserves to get through that exercise, to get through that workout and to feel good afterwards. So that’s one of the symptoms.
How cortisol is supposed to work in a healthy person that has adrenal glands that aren’t depleted, is when you wake up in the morning, your cortisol begins and it’s high. And that’s why you test blood and salivary cortisol in the morning as soon as you get up. So that means you wake up and you feel like you’ve slept pretty well and you’re ready to start the day, you feel alert. You’re not groggy, you don’t wish that you could just stay in bed for the rest of the day.
Throughout the day your cortisol will gradually decline. It might have a few dips and usually perks up with eating or exercise. So if you have a protein-rich, or carbohydrate-rich meal, your cortisol can come back up and that’s around meal-times you’ll feel a little bit more alert. And your cortisol will decline until bedtime when you feel tired and you feel ready to go to sleep and it will stay low throughout the night so you won’t be waking up at night. You’ll feel rested and if you have one of those sleep trackers or a Fitbit, it will show you that you have restful sleep and that you spend a lot of your time in REM sleep or deep wave sleep. And then the cycle starts again, you wake up, your cortisol starts to peak and gets higher again.
When our cortisol cycle is off. When we’re in adrenal fatigue or even the end stages of stress resistance, which proceeds that burnout adrenal fatigue stage and often proceeds depression. The resistance phase is more associated with anxiety, burnout is more associated with depression.
When we’re in that burnout phase, we’re not able to get the cortisol up in the morning so you wake up feeling exhausted. You will often even have a crash, you might kind of get going and ready to go or you might just be used to having that level of energy, on a scale of 1 to 10, you might be anywhere from a 3 to a 7. Around 10 am, though, you’ll notice a dip in your energy, so a lot of people will have this kind of energy crash around 10 am and then they get a second wind, they can kind of go. A very typical thing that happens is around 3-4 pm, 2-4pm, after lunch, there’s a massive energy crash and we’re still at work, most of the time, those of us that work 9-5 and so you’re at work and you’re just feeling exhausted.
And then people kind of get a second wind and another thing that happens, which is not great, is that you get a second wind right before bedtime. When you’re supposed to be going to sleep, you feel this kind of “tired and wired”, like you’re not able to, you know, wind yourself down to get a restful night’s sleep. You feel like you need to be up and on your electronics and doing some work, catching up on some things that you need to get done.
And eventually you might go to bed and usually this happens close to midnight or after midnight, and then most people will have a cortisol spike in the middle of the night between 2 and 4 am where you wake up and are unable to fall back asleep. And thus the cycle begins again where you had a spike in the middle of the night, your sleep’s been broken, you’re tired again in the next morning.
So how do we get out of this cycle? Because, you know, depression has low mood, depression has low motivation, depression has changes in weight and metabolism and appetite and these feelings of sadness and adrenal fatigue and burnout have a lot of those same symptoms. There’s not motivation, you’re gaining weight in the abdomen, you’re immune system is thrown off, you’re feeling just this general malaise and muscle pain and exhaustion and sadness and low mood and low self-worth and all of these things that we see in depression.
So how do we solve this? So the first thing we do is, if possible, we try and manage stress, to establish self care routines and this is a process that we need to work towards, it doesn’t happen in one visit, in a day it takes a few months to a few years to rebuild and reestablish. We make sure that we’re living a balanced life and we’re managing our cortisol and we also might prescribe supplements and herbs to stimulate cortisol production and to help our bodies manage stress and to help our adrenal glands work more optimally. And this often has a dramatic shift in mood after a few months. I have personal experience with this myself and it’s amazing. In a few months you look back to where you were and you notice big shifts.
It’s also necessary to make sure that blood sugar is not spiking throughout the day because cortisol and blood sugar are tightly interconnected. If our blood sugar drops, our body needs to create cortisol to bring it back up and likewise, if our blood sugar is high, this is a stress on the body and it can affect the cortisol balance. If our blood sugar is nice and steady and we’re eating enough fats and proteins to keep our neurotransmitters and our hormones productive and in production in the body, we notice a more even mood and energy level and this is really important so I go over nutrition and how to plan meals, especially in the morning with a protein and fat-rich breakfast.
And, finally, things like bodywork and things like, if not psychotherapy, then things to help with the life stressors that are going on, directly addressing those things. Even helping with the body stress response, the body’s perceived response because a lot of the time we have stress stored in our thoughts and emotions in the head, which is what addressed usually with many forms of psychotherapy. But oftentimes we also store stress in the body and so I find that acupuncture can be really affective and there’s studies that show that acupuncture actually outperforms Prozac in some 6-week trials as well as acupuncture can also help the brain move into that parasympathetic rest and digest state.
So, from 4-6 sessions of acupuncture can really shift us into a more relaxed state and help us with that stress response that we often be stuck in.
So, for more information, visit my website. I’m at TaliaND.com, or you can send me an email at connect@taliand.com. I work at Bloor West Wellness in Toronto. And if you want, leave your questions or comments below and we’ll start the discussion. Thanks, bye! 🙂
It seems like the world is falling apart. These days more than ever.
Race wars, weapons, war, wealth concentrated into the hands of a few, and violence, Facebook is filled with videos that fill our heads and hearts with a complicated mixture of sadness, anger, anguish, confusion, frustration, enrage, injustice and a deep-felt sense of powerlessness. We struggle through these events to go on living—to go about our lives in a dignified fashion, to pay our rent, to engage our relationships, to find happiness and satisfaction in our lots in this world. It seems like the world is ending, and yet we still have our daily responsibilities. Our cynicism is engaged; our idealism is crumbling. Many of us feel hope leaving our bodies. Many of us feel frustration morphing into despair.
Stress is estimated to be the number one cause of disease. As a naturopathic doctor, my role often involves cleaning up the debris from chronic, long-term stress responses gone haywire. Oftentimes my patients don’t even perceive the stress they’re under. “I’m type A! I thrive under stress and pressure”, some will tell me. Other times the people I work with are so far in a state of overwhelm it’s all they can do to keep moving forward with their daily routines.
The World Health Organization estimates that 75-90% of doctor’s visits are attributed to by stress. I would estimate that 100% of the people I work with have on-going stress in their lives.
We doctors know that some people, the “Type B’s” in society, are more susceptible to stress. We know these people, we may even be one of them ourselves: the sensitive individuals, the intuitives, the feelers, the artists, empaths, activists and light-workers. We are individuals who are often drawn to artistic and healing professions, who care deeply about relationships, people, feelings and soft-ness in this world. We often find ourselves pushed up against hard edges, struggling to pay bills and cope with cruelty and injustice. We face daily struggles and the pain of living a disconnected, yet intricately interdependent life in modern-day society. Some natural doctors have terms us “parasympathetic dominants”—people whose nervous systems tend to get stuck in the parasympathetic (as opposed to stress-fuelled sympathetic) arm of the autonomic nervous system (the “automatic” nervous system).
We often feel overcome with a sense of overwhelm when faced with packed schedules, high stakes jobs that affect others, achievement-oriented striving and the prioritization of money and numbers over people. In this world of deadlines, assertion, aggression, fear, war and material wealth, we can often feel like we don’t fit in. We can suffer from burnout.
Burnout, “adrenal fatigue” or “parasympathetic dominance” happens when our stress response becomes depleted. It is characterized by naturopathic doctors as fatigue, excessive needs for sleep and quiet, lack of motivation, disrupted sleep schedules, difficulty losing weight, sluggish digestion, bloating and IBS, headaches and brain fog, poor memory, hormonal imbalance resulting in heavy or irregular periods, PMS, infertility and acne. Mental illness can begin to surface or worsen in this state, resulting in depression, anxiety, or even bipolar disorder and psychosis. The narrative of the mad, artistic genius, burdened by the weight and troubles of the world, surfaces to mind—the creative genius who is too sensitive for this world. We run the risk of becoming irritable, and losing some of our natural compassion as we drift off into exhausted survival mode.
Many of the people I work with are these sensitive individuals, myself included, and I’m proud to help this population. Through healing the sensitive feelers, we heal the world. The world needs a little more softness and more compassion. It needs people who can pick up on emotional nuances and care deeply about others. It needs people who listen, who feel, who create and share their versions of the human experience to teach others. Through the artists, we experience the depths of our own humanity. Through the artists, we see our pain and, through seeing our pain, we can begin to heal it. It is important that we can find fulfilling work and lives that nurture us, so that we may have the energy to extend our gifts to the world.
Healing parasympathetic dominance in my practice often manifests first as establishing a therapeutic relationship. We crave openness, time and space to explore emotional nuances and engage our natural sense of curiosity. We crave being deeply heard and felt. As a doctor, I do my best to listen, not just to the words, but the space between them, and the symptoms of the body. We look for root causes to issues so that we can establish lifestyle patterns that nurture us.
Creating a clean, nutritious diet: With lean protein, usually meats that stimulate metabolism and manage stress, healthy fats, anti-inflammatory nutrients and lots of fruits and vegetables, especially berries and leafy greens, we can begin to re-feed ourselves and heal inflammation.
Gentle, nurturing movement: I often suggest exercise that blends into the lifestyles of my patients, that works with them. Slow, meditative walking for an hour a day is a wonderful, scientifically proven method of bringing down stress hormone levels. It also creates space in the day for contemplation and integration.
Restful sleep: Through sleep hygiene and some strategically dosed supplements, improving sleep allows the body to repair itself and rest. Those suffering from burnout may need more sleep. Dealing with the guilt that can arise through sleeping in and saying no to non-essential activities to prioritize sleep is often a psychological hurdle in those who feel best when they are nurturing and giving to others, and not themselves.
Self-care: Journalling, meditation and engaging in creative pursuits are helpful armour in allowing one to integrate, express and stay open, energized and creative.
Nurturing mental health and emotions: Speaking to family and friends or a trained therapist or naturopathic doctor can allow us to dive more deeply into our own psyches. When we explore the corners of our mind we are able to heal mental-emotional obstacles to health and learn more about ourselves and others and alter the way we engage in the world. Opening ourselves up to deep-seated anger, fear and sadness is essential to clearing this repressed emotions and improving our experience in the world. My favourite forms of talk therapy are Narrative Therapy and Coherence Therapy. Both involve openly engaging the emotional and mental experience of the other to alter core beliefs and narratives and explore possibilities for living a preferred life experience.
Through the times we are facing, I urge us all to band together, embrace the healers and artists among us and engage in deep, nurturing self-care. Journal, spend time with friends and create. Take time from your activist pursuits and political readings to reflect, to meditate, to get some healing acupuncture and to cry or express anger. Feel the emotions that arise during this time. Take the time to listen to the narratives that emerge. Eat a diet filled with protein, try to keep to a sleep schedule, if possible. Nurture yourself and the complicated emotions that are arising within you and others.
We need you to help us through this time. It is people like you who can heal others, but only if you strive to heal yourself as well.
People seek out naturopathic doctors for expert advice. This immediately positions us as experts in the context of the therapeutic relationship, establishing a power imbalance right from the first encounter. If left unchecked, this power imbalance will result in the knowledge and experience of the practitioner being preferred to the knowledge, experience, skills and values of the people who seek naturopathic care.
The implicit expectation of the therapeutic relationship is that it’s up to the doctor to figure out what is “wrong” with the body patients inhabit and make expert recommendations to correct this wrong-ness. After that, it’s up to the patients to follow the recommendations in order to heal. If there is a failure to follow recommendations, it is the patient who has failed to “comply” with treatment. This “failure” results in breakdown of communication, loss of personal agency on the part of the patient, and frustration for both parties.
When speaking of previous experience with naturopathic medicine, patients often express frustration at unrealistic, expensive and time-consuming treatment plans that don’t honour their values and lifestyles. Oftentimes patients express fear at prescriptions that they had no part in creating, blaming them for adverse reactions, or negative turns in health outcomes. It’s common that, rather than address these issues with the practitioner, patients take for granted that the treatment plan offered is the only one available and, for a variety of reasons, choose to discontinue care.
One of the elements of Narrative Therapy—a style of psychotherapy founded by Australian Michael White—I most resonate with is the idea of the “therapeutic posture”. In narrative therapy, the therapist or practitioner assumes a de-centred, but influential posture in the visit. This can be roughly translated as reducing practitioner expertise to that of a guide or facilitator, while keeping the agency, decision-making, expertise and wisdom of the patient as the dominant source for informing clinical decisions. The de-centred clinician guides the patient through questioning, helping to reframe his or her identity by flushing out his or her ideas and values through open-ended questions. However, the interests of the doctor are set aside in the visit.
From the place of de-centred facilitation, no part of the history is assumed without first asking questions, and outcomes are not pursued without requesting patient input. De-centring eschews advice-giving, praise, judgement and applying a normalizing or pathologizing gaze to the patient’s concerns. De-centring the naturopathic practitioner puts the patient’s experiences above professional training, knowledge or expertise. We are often told in naturopathic medical school that patients are the experts on their own bodies. A de-centred therapeutic gaze acknowledges this and uses it to optimize the clinical encounter.
I personally find that in psychotherapy, the applicability of de-centring posture seems feasible—patients expect that the therapist will simply act as a mirror rather than doling out advice. However, in clinical practice, privileging the skills, knowledge and expertise of the patient over those of the doctor seems trickier—after all, people come for answers. At the end of naturopathic clinical encounters, I always find myself reaching for a prescription pad and quickly laying out out my recommendations.
There is an expected power imbalance in doctor-patient relationships that is taught and enforced by medical training. The physician or medical student, under the direction of his or her supervisor, asks questions and compiles a document of notes—the clinical chart. The patient often has little idea of what is being recorded, whether these notes are in their own words, or even if they are an accurate interpretation of what the patient has intended to convey—The Seinfeld episode where Elaine is deemed a “difficult patient” comes to mind when I think of the impact of medical records on people’s lives. After that we make an assessment and prescription by a process that, in many ways, remains invisible to the patient.
De-centred practice involves acknowledging the power differential between practitioner and patient and bringing it to the forefront of the therapeutic interaction.
The ways that this are done must be applied creatively and conscientiously, wherever a power imbalance can be detected. For me this starts with acknowledging payment—I really appreciate it when my patients openly tell me that they struggle to afford me. There may not be something I can do about this, but if I don’t know the reason for my patient falling off the radar or frequently cancelling when their appointment time draws near, there is certainly nothing I can do to address the issue of cost and finances. Rather than being a problem separate from our relationship, it becomes internal the the naturopathic consultation, which means that solutions can be reached by acts of collaboration, drawing on the strengths, knowledge and experience of both of us.
In a similar vein, addressing the intersection of personal finance and real estate within the therapeutic relationship requires a delicate balance of empathy and practicality. Patients may be navigating the complexities of homeownership or rental expenses, which can significantly impact their overall well-being. Encouraging open communication about these financial stressors fosters an environment where solutions can be explored collaboratively. It’s essential to recognize that financial challenges are not isolated issues but are intricately woven into the fabric of a person’s life, influencing mental and emotional well-being.
For instance, a patient might express concerns about the financial strain associated with homeownership, prompting a discussion about alternative housing options or budgeting strategies. In this context, exploring unconventional opportunities, such as innovative approaches to real estate like eXp Realty, could naturally arise. Integrating discussions about progressive real estate models within the therapeutic dialogue allows for a holistic exploration of solutions, leveraging the expertise and experiences of both the practitioner and the patient. This approach not only addresses immediate concerns but also lays the foundation for a collaborative and conscientious partnership in navigating the multifaceted aspects of personal finance and real estate.
De-centred practice involves practicing non-judgement and removing assumptions about the impact of certain conditions. A patient may smoke, self-harm or engage in addictive behaviours that appear counterproductive to healing. It’s always useful to ask them how they feel about these practices—these behaviours may be hidden life-lines keeping patients afloat, or gateways to stories of very “healthy” behaviours. They may be clues to hidden strengths. By applying a judgemental, correctional gaze to behaviours, we can drive a wedge in the trust and rapport between doctor and patient, and the potential to uncover and draw on these strengths for healing will be lost.
De-centred practice involves avoiding labelling our patients. A patient may not present with “Generalized Anxiety Disorder”, but “nervousness” or “uneasiness”, “a pinball machine in my chest” or, one of my favourites, a “black smog feeling”. It’s important to be mindful about adding a new or different labels and the impact this can have on power and identity. We often describe physiological phenomena in ways that many people haven’t heard before: estrogen dominance, adrenal fatigue, leaky gut syndrome, chronic inflammation. In our professional experience, these labels can provide relief for people who have suffered for years without knowing what’s off. Learning that something pathological is indeed happening in the body, that this thing has a name, isn’t merely a figment of the imagination and, better still, has a treatment (by way of having a name), can provide immense relief. However, others may feel that they are being trapped in a diagnosis. We’re praised for landing a “correct” diagnosis in medical school, as if finding the right word to slap our patients with validates our professional aptitude. However, being aware of the extent to which labels help or hinder our patients capacities for healing is important for establishing trust.
To be safe, it can help to simply ask, “So, you’ve been told you have ‘Social Anxiety’. What do you think of this label? Has it helped to add meaning to your experience? Is there anything else you’d like to call this thing that’s been going on with you?”
Avoiding labelling also includes holding back from using the other labels we may be tempted to apply such as “non-compliant”, “resistant”, “difficult”, or to group patients with the same condition into categories of behaviour and identity.
It is important to attempt to bring transparency to all parts of the therapeutic encounter, such as history-taking, physical exams, labs, charting, assessment and prescribing, whenever possible. I’ve heard of practitioners reading back to people what they have written in the chart, to make sure their recordings are accurate, and letting patients read their charts over to proofread them before they are signed. The significance of a file existing in the world about someone that they have never seen or had input into the creation of can be quite impactful, especially for those who have a rich medical history. One practitioner asks “What’s it like to carry this chart around all your life?” to new patients who present with phonebook-sized medical charts. She may also ask, “Of all the things written in here about you, what would you most like me to know?” This de-emphasizes the importance of expert communication and puts the patient’s history back under their own control.
Enrolling patients in their own treatment plan is essential for compliance and positive clinical outcomes. I believe that the extent to which a treatment plan can match a patient’s values, abilities, lifestyle and personal preferences dictates the success of that plan. Most people have some ideas about healthy living and natural health that they have acquired through self-study, consuming media, trial-and-error on their own bodies or consulting other healthcare professionals. Many people who seek a naturopathic doctor are not doing so for the first time and, in the majority of cases, the naturopathic doctor is not the first professional the patient may have consulted. This is also certainly not the first time that the person has taken steps toward healing—learning about those first few, or many, steps is a great way to begin an empowering and informed conversation about the patients’ healing journey before they met you. If visiting a naturopathic doctor is viewed as one more step of furthering self-care and self-healing, then the possibilities for collaboration become clearer. Many people who see me have been trying their own self-prescriptions for years and now finally “need some support” to help guide further action. Why not mobilize the patient’s past experiences, steps and actions that they’ve already taken to heal themselves? Patients are a wealth of skills, knowledge, values, experiences and beliefs that contribute to their ability to heal. The vast majority have had to call on these skills in the past and have rich histories of using these skills in self-healing that can be drawn upon for treatment success.
De-centring ourselves, at least by a few degrees, from the position of expertise, knowledge and power in the therapeutic relationship, if essential for allowing our patients to heal. A mentor once wrote to me, “Trust is everything. People trust you and then they use that trust to heal themselves.”
By lowering our status as experts, we increase the possibility to build this trust—not just our patients’ trust in our abilities as practitioners, but patients’ trust in their own skills, knowledge and abilities as self-healing entities. I believe that de-centring practitioner power can lead to increased “compliance”, more engagement in the therapeutic treatment, more opportunities for collaboration, communication and transparency. It can decrease the amount of people that discontinue care. I also believe that this takes off the burden of control and power off of ourselves—we aren’t solely responsible for having the answers—decreasing physician burnout. Through de-centring, patients and doctors work together to come up with a solution that suits both, becoming willing partners in creating treatment plans, engaging each other in healing and thereby increasing the trust patients have in their own bodies and those bodies’ abilities to heal.
Today, I’m 30, working on my career as a self-employed health professional and a small business owner and living on my own. I’ve moved through a lot of states, emotions and life experiences this year, which has been appropriate for closing the chapter on my 20’s and moving into a new decade of life. I’ve experienced huge changes in the past year and significant personal growth thanks to the work I’ve been blessed to do and the people who have impacted me throughout the last 30 years. Here are 30 things this past year has taught me.
Take care of your gut and it will take care of you. It will also eliminate the need for painkillers, antidepressants, skincare products, creams, many cosmetic surgeries, shampoo and a myriad of supplements and products.
Trying too hard might not be the recipe for success. In Taoism, the art of wu wei, or separating action from effort might be key in moving forward with your goals and enjoying life; You’re not falling behind in life. Additionally, Facebook, the scale and your wallet are horrible measures to gauge how you’re doing in life. Find other measures.
If you have a chance to, start your own business. Building a business forces you to build independence, autonomy, self-confidence, healthy boundaries, a stronger ego, humility and character, presence, guts and strength, among other things. It asks you to define yourself, write your own life story, rewrite your own success story and create a thorough and authentic understanding of what “success” means to you. Creating your own career allows you to create your own schedule, philosophy for living and, essentially, your own life.
There is such as thing as being ready. You can push people to do what you want, but if they’re not ready, it’s best to send them on their way, wherever their “way” may be. Respecting readiness and lack thereof in others has helped me overcome a lot of psychological hurdles and avoid taking rejection personally. It’s helped me accept the fact that we’re all on our own paths and recognize my limitations as a healer and friend.
Letting go is one of the most important life skills for happiness. So is learning to say no.
The law of F$%3 Yes or No is a great rule to follow, especially if you’re ambivalent about an impending choice. Not a F— Yes? Then, no. Saying no might make you feel guilty, but when the choice is between feeling guilty and feeling resentment, choose guilt every time. Feeling guilty is the first sign that you’re taking care of yourself.
Patience is necessary. Be patient for your patients.
Things may come and things may go, including various stressors and health challenges, but I will probably always need to take B-vitamins, magnesium and fish oil daily.
Quick fixes work temporarily, but whatever was originally broken tends to break again. This goes for diets, exercise regimes, intense meditation practices, etc. Slow and steady may be less glamorous and dramatic, but it’s the only real way to change and the only way to heal.
When in doubt, read. The best teachers and some of the best friends are books. Through books we can access the deepest insights humanity has ever seen.
If the benefits don’t outweigh the sacrifice, you’ll never give up dairy, coffee, wine, sugar and bread for the long term. That’s probably perfectly ok. Let it go.
Patients trust you and then they heal themselves. You learn to trust yourself, and then your patients heal. Developing self-trust is the best continuing education endeavour you can do as a doctor.
Self-care is not selfish. In fact, it is the single most powerful tool you have for transforming the world.
Why would anyone want to anything other than a healer or an artist?
Getting rid of excess things can be far more healing than retail therapy. Tidying up can in fact be magical and life-changing.
It is probably impossible to be truly healthy without some form of mindfulness or meditation in this day and age.
As Virginia Woolf once wrote, every woman needs a Room of Own’s Own. Spending time alone, with yourself, in nature is when true happiness can manifest. Living alone is a wonderful skill most women should have—we tend to outlive the men in our lives, for one thing. And then we’re left with ourselves in the end anyways.
The inner self is like a garden. We can plant the seeds and nurture the soil, but we can’t force the garden to grow any faster. Nurture your garden of self-love, knowledge, intuition, business success, and have faith that you’ll have a beautiful, full garden come spring.
Be cheap when it comes to spending money on everything, except when it comes to food, travel and education. Splurge on those things, if you can.
Your body is amazing. Every day it spends thousands of units of energy on keeping you alive, active and healthy. Treat it well and, please, only say the nicest things to it. It can hear you.
If you’re in a job or life where you’re happy “making time go by quickly”, maybe you should think of making a change. There is only one February 23rd, 2016. Be grateful for time creeping by slowly. When you can, savour the seconds.
Do no harm is a complicated doctrine to truly follow. It helps to start with yourself.
Drink water. Tired? Sore? Poor digestion? Weight gain? Hungry? Feeling empty? Generally feeling off? Start with drinking water.
Do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life. As long as what you love requires no board exams, marketing, emailing, faxing, charting, and paying exorbitant fees. But, since most careers have at least some of those things, it’s still probably still preferable to be doing something you love.
Not sure what to do? Pause, count to 7, breathe. As a good friend and colleague recently wrote to me, “I was doing some deep breathing yesterday and I felt so good.” Amen to that.
As it turns out, joining a group of women to paint, eat chocolate and drink wine every Wednesday for two months can be an effective form of “marketing”. Who knew?
“Everyone you meet is a teacher”, is a great way to look at online dating, friendships and patient experiences. Our relationships are the sharpest mirrors through which we can look at ourselves. Let’s use them and look closely.
Being in a state of curiosity is one of the most healing states to be in. When we look with curiosity, we are unable to feel judgment, anxiety, or obsess about control. Curiosity is the gateway to empathy and connection.
Aiming to be liked by everyone prevents us from feeling truly connected to the people around us. The more we show up as our flawed, messy, sometimes obnoxious selves, the fewer people might like us. However, the ones who stick around happen to love the hot, obnoxious mess they see. As your social circle tightens, it will also strengthen.
If everyone is faking it until they make it, then is everyone who’s “made” it really faking it? These are the things I wonder while I lie awake at night.
Happy Birthday to me and happy February 23rd, 2016 to all of you!
I’ve come to see my migraines as an internal measuring device for wellness, or rather, lack of wellness—kind of like a very painful meat thermometer. From time to time I get bouts of low energy compelling me to spend more time doing low-key activities. However, quick browses through Facebook show me busy colleagues achieving great things and I feel guilty about my relative inaction. A little voice pipes up. “Your body is telling you to rest”, it says. “But if you just started doing things, you’d probably feel more motivation”, voices another, its opponent, the devil on my shoulder. A war ensues and then a headache settles it all. I take it easy for a while, while I’m literally knocked out of commission, in the dark, on the couch with an icepack on my head.
L came to me for fertility, which is another litmus test for good health. When the body is struggling against some sort of imbalance or obstacle to wellness, it will not spend its resources readying eggs, ovulating and ripening uteruses. Our bodies protect us from the metabolic demands of having a pregnancy, which in our current stressed-out, unwell states we probably wouldn’t be able to handle, by simply not getting pregnant in the first place. And so, infertility is a nice entry-way to healing—patients are motivated to examine the effect of their lifestyles on their wellbeing.
The problem was, however, that L barely had time to make and attend her appointments. When she did manage to come in, she was in a rush. She’d often cancel follow-ups because she hadn’t followed through with the previous visit’s plan, even though it had been weeks before. She also reported working 50-hour weeks and staying up early into the morning to work on projects. I wondered, if she couldn’t even make an hour-long appointment with her naturopathic doctor, how would she manage growing and then giving birth to and then raising a brand new human? L simply might have not been ready to heal. Something in me fought to give her my professional assessment; in order to have the baby she wanted, she might have to give up, or significantly let up on, the demands of her job. However, how could I have made such a statement? I held my tongue and tried my best with the modalities at my disposal. We did acupuncture, CoQ10, PQQ and herbal remedies. We worked on sleep and did stress management with adaptogens. In a few months, despite the high demands of her lifestyle, L was pregnant. She still has trouble keeping her appointments with me. L’s body may now be functioning fine, but is it thriving?
Workplace wellness programs teach employees how to survive the 60+ hour workweeks in the office by doing yoga at lunch and eating healthier cafeteria food. They’re taught about stress management and, in the best of cases, given adaptogens and B-vitamins to help their bodies’ sails weather the stress-intensive storms of office life. It’s a great investment, these programs proclaim, because employees are happier, more efficient at their work and take less sick days. Workplace wellness programs keep their employees functional but, I wonder, can anyone really be well working that many hours a week?
When it comes to the health strategies we promote as a profession, how many of them are geared towards healing and how many of them are really just there to help us function?
At this stage in my career, I often have to gauge what my patients want. There are some people who come in ready to heal. They want to search for and address the real root cause of disease, no matter how elusive it may be. They are also willing to do what it takes to get better, even if it means a significant lifestyle shift. Sometimes these patients are at a point where things have gotten so bad that they have no other choice, however some of them simply intuit that the symptoms arising may be conveying a greater message; in order to be truly healthy, things might have to change. Most patients, however, come in looking to “feel better”—they simply want their symptoms to go away so they can get back to their daily lives, lives that might have made them sick in the first place. In our pharmaceutical-based Therapeutics and Prescribing exam, the goal of therapy in the oral cases was always to “restore functioning”, as if our patients were simply pieces of machinery; our parts are worn, maybe broken and we’ve gone decades without a decent oil change, but the factory declares we must get back to work as soon as possible and so we break out the duct tape. With this mindset, however, are we simply placating our bodies long enough to keep working until we eventually succumb to the next thing, a debilitating headache instead of mild fatigue, or something even worse? How long can we go suppressing symptoms or getting our bodies into decent enough shape before we realize that what we really need is some honest-to-goodness authentic healing?
Jiddu Krishnamurti, Hindu philosopher and teacher once said, “It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” How much of our health marketing and wellness efforts are aimed at cleaning out the cogs in a jammed up machine so that they can go on turning smoothly again? The thought that real healing might mean dismantling the entire machine might be too radical for our society to handle. How can we address the problem of making a living if we acknowledge the fact that our lifestyle, or job, might be making us sick?
A therapist I work with (doctors need healing too!) once told me that mild to moderate depression is a sign that something in your life needs changing. “Look at the symptoms of depression,” She told me one afternoon in her office, “You lose the energy and motivation to keep going with your routine. You stop being social; all of your energy turns inwards. You focus your attention on your self and your life so that you can examine what about it is making you unhappy. Then you change it.” Then you change it, a scary thought. No wonder a tenth of the population opts for anti-depressant medication, which in some cases might be the medical equivalent of dusting oneself off and heading back to work. And, while they seem like more benign options, St. John’s Wort, B12 injections and 5HTP may not be that different.
A friend and I were talking about this very topic. He remarked that at a fitness retail store he worked at he’d often ask his female customers, “What will you be needing these yoga pants for today: form or function?” When I laughed at the shallowness of it all, he protested, “Well, some people are just going to use them to sit in coffee shops while others want to actually work out. What’s going to make your butt look great won’t necessarily be the best choice at the gym. I had to know their motivations.” Are most of our wellness efforts aimed at making our butts look great or are they filling a functional purpose?
I wonder if I should follow my friend’s lead and outright ask my patients, maybe on their intake forms, “Are you looking to truly heal today or do you just want to feel better and get back to work?”—form or function? Being candid with them, might help me decide when to schedule follow-up appointments. At any rate, it would definitely open up a conversation about expectations surrounding decent time-frames for seeing “results” and what true healing might look like for them. The trouble is, restoring functioning, if not easier, is more straight-forward. You make some tweaks to diet, correct some nutritional deficiencies and boost the adrenals or liver. It’s the medical equivalent of filling in potholes with cheap cement—it might not look pretty, but now you can drive on it. Healing, however, is more complex. It’s more convoluted, hard to define and get a firm grasp on. It is also highly individual. It might mean ripping up the entire road, plumbing and all, and building a new one or, even better, planting grass and flowers in the road’s place and nurturing that grass on a daily basis. Healing might be creating something entirely new, something that no one has ever heard of or seen before. Creating is scary. Creativity takes courage, and so does healing.
No matter what it might look like, I believe healing begins with a conversation and a willingness to look inwards, without judgement. Healing also requires an acceptance of what is, even if the individual doesn’t feel ready to take actions to heal just yet. Healing deserves us acknowledging that something is a band-aid solution. Healing definitely demands listening, especially to the body. Therefore, healing might begin in meditation. It might start with a mind-searing migraine that lands you on the couch and the thought, “What if, instead of reaching for the Advil, I just rested a little bit today?” Healing might just start there and it might never end. But, if it does, who knows where it might end up?
I feel sorry for the digestive tracts of this nation, I really do. The owners of these digestive tracts have my sympathy as well—there really is nothing so bad as pooping too much or not pooping enough. Sometimes it’s hard to know which one is worse. Having regular and healthy bowel movements (1-3 times a day) is an essential foundation of good health—regular elimination helps us remove toxins and waste from the body, keeping us energized and well.
A series of patients often come through my office with chronic constipation that is unrelieved by supplements and diet. Most people are getting enough fruits and vegetables or have added more of these foods to their diets and still have a hard time keeping things moving in the lower abdominal quadrants. Since promoting healthy motility is often about daily self-care practices, I’ve complied my list of constipation home-care protocols here, for easy reference. While there are herbs and supplements that can improve motility, add fibre and draw water into the colon and promote healthy elimination, there are also foundational daily practices that must be incorporated as well.
Water:
A no-brainer: we all know that if stools are dry and hard to pass, we need to increase the lubrication of the digestive tract. Gradually increasing your fluid intake by one glass (250 ml) of water per day per week will help your body adjust so that you’re not sent running to the washroom every ten minutes.
Most importantly, however, I like to tell my patients to start the day with a large glass (500 ml) of room temperature water, consumed at once, first thing in the morning. This stimulates the gastrocolic reflex, by filling the stomach with water. In a healthy digestive tract, the contents of the intestine should move through the gut and enter the colon over night where they await the morning meal. Stimulating digestion by ingesting a modest amount of water first thing in the morning can stimulate the contraction of the colon and encourage a bowel movement. Keeping water warm or at room temperature, rather than cold, prevents the water from seizing up the body’s sphincters and allows things to keep moving. This practice also guarantees half a litre of water consumption a day, which we know is essential for proper colon health.
Listening to the body:
Slow motility is often a response to lifestyle. Our bodies send gentle cues to our conscious brains that it’s time to have a bowel movement and oftentimes these cues are ignored. Perhaps we’re in traffic, or rushing out the door, or in a meeting. Perhaps we’re afraid to use the washroom at work, where the acoustics are less-than-ideal. However, when we ignore the calls of nature, we often miss our chance to have a bowel movement for that day. If this has become a reality for you, some bowel retraining might be in order. Bowel retraining involves picking a time of day when it would be most convenient to have a bowel movement—right after breakfast is often a good time—and sitting on the toilet for 10 to 20 minutes. This daily practice will help teach your bowels when a good time to go is, as well as make you conscious of making daily elimination a priority. Think of it as “potty training” for adults.
Fibre:
We all know that regular bowel movements require an adequate amount of dietary fibre. Fibre creates bulk in the intestines, feeds healthy gut bacteria and increases stool weight. A healthy diet contains at least 25 grams of fibre a day from whole food sources. However, when it comes to constipation, not all fibres are created equally. While soluble fibre, from things like chia seeds, oats and legumes has been shown to decrease cholesterol absorption in the gut, it can actually serve to bung us up more. Insoluble fibre, like the kind found in apple skins, flax and wheat bran, can help bulk up the stools and keep things moving smoothly along the digestive tract.
To increase insoluble fibre in the diet, I recommend 2 tbs of ground flaxseed (you can add it to smoothies, morning cereal or the morning 500 ml glass of water) a day. This not only helps promote bowel movements, it also provides healthy omega 3 fats and estrogen-balancing properties for healthy hormones.
As fibre needs to absorb water in order to promote healthy excretion, it is important to prioritize fluid intake. A study involving 63 participants showed that the more fibre they consumed, the more constipated they became. The researchers likened this phenomenon to a traffic jam—add more cars and you simply worsen the traffic jam. Therefore, it’s important to keep the gut sufficiently lubricated to encourage proper motility.
Castor oil packs and self-massage:
Castor oil can help promote smooth muscle motility when applied topically to the abdomen. I instruct patients to massage a liberal amount of oil over the entire abdomen (bra-line to underwear line) and either place a hot water bottle over the area for one hour or leave the oil on overnight. Self-massage paired with castor oil are effective at helping things move more regularly throughout the night. A word of caution, however: castor oil should not be used in pregnancy and before an expected menstrual period as it can stimulate the contraction of the uterus. Castor oil also has the potential to stain clothes and bedsheets, so take extra care.
Pelvic tilt:
A few years ago, the Squatty Potty was all the rage. This new, rather expensive tool, claimed to change the angle that the legs make with the torso, encouraging pelvic floor muscle relaxation and relaxation of the muscles around the anal sphincter. The principles makes sense—we humans have evolved to evacuate our bowels in a squatting position. This increases abdominal pressure and causes puborectalis muscle relaxation, allowing us to have a strain-free experience. The modern toilet, however, does not encourage this angle, which the makers of Squatty Potty claim is the reason that constipation issues are so rampant in Western society. I encourage purchasing a 1-ft high washroom stool to place under the feet while going to the washroom to promote proper posture and sphincter opening.
Exercise:
Daily exercise promotes bowel movements by increasing metabolism, increasing intra-abdominal pressure and strengthening abdominal muscles. Getting 30 minutes of moderate exercise (walking, swimming, cycling, etc.) and performing squats are excellent ways of promoting healthy elimination.
Talk to your naturopathic doctor:
Supplements such as magnesium, vitamin C, probiotics and certain herbs such as burdock, peppermint, chamomile and chicory can also help with constipation. Talk to your naturopathic doctor about what doses, brands and supplements are right for you. Acupuncture and hydrotherapy are also useful treatments. Try to avoid methods that only offer temporary relief from constipation, such as laxative use. These can help in the short term, but like most short-term treatments, can worsen symptoms in the long term and further exacerbate your efforts to promote healthy bowel movements over time.
According to James Altucher, author and entrepreneur, it is possible to reinvent yourself in 5 years. In his book, The Power of No, he tells us how to reinvent our lives by first saying a big, fat No to all the things that don’t serve us—toxic friendships and relationships, stagnant 9-5’s, harmful behaviours, negative thought patterns and, well, just things we simply don’t want to do—in order to free up our lives for greater happiness, abundance and creativity.
It is now the end of May. For me, May has been a month of reinvention. For the past 10 years it has been the month of closing and good-byes, specifically the end of the school year. The Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine class of 2015 has graduated, as I did last year. Last week my Facebook feed was infiltrated with pictures of flowers, long black gowns and tearfully heartfelt thank-yous to the friends and family that got my colleagues through their gruelling 4 years of naturopathic medical education. Last year that was me—I remember the black gowns, the face-ache from smiling, drinking a little too much at grad formal and winning an award (“Most Likely to Write a Best Seller”—complete with misspelling of “bestseller”) while eating Portuguese chicken at my house afterwards with my friend F and his family. This year, one year later, I watch these events from afar. May 2014 offered new beginnings and chance for reinvention. I was dating, enjoying the sunshine, looking forward to a trip to India, looking forward to beginning a practice as a naturopathic doctor. Mostly, last May was about the death of one life—that of a naturopathic student—and the birth of a new one: a complete reinvention.
This year the rest of my life stretches before me like one long expansive road. My career is underway. My dating life is stagnant. The next steps are more like small evolutions rather than massive, monumental milestones. I most likely will not don a black gown again, but I can reinvent myself by following the 20 steps below. I can always check back into these practices when I’m feeling stuck, alone or afraid. When life is not going my way, there is always a chance to begin a reinvention of some sort. And, I remind myself, my current reinvention is likely well underway. Since I graduated last May, I have been in the process of reinventing: just 4 more years left until I complete my obligatory 5. While 4 years sounds like a long time, I know from experience that 4-year cycles turn over within the blink of an eye.
What stage are you on in your own personal reinvention? Wherever you are, follow these steps to reinvent yourself:
1) Say no. Say no to all the things that you don’t want to do. Say no to things that cause you harm: emotional harm, mental harm, physical harm, loss of time, loss of money, loss of sleep. We need to say no first before we can free up the time and energy to say yes to the things that we actually want. In fact, say “no” to all the things you aren’t saying “F#$% YES!” to. Read this article for more information.
2) Re-examine your relationships. Who doesn’t make you feel good? Who makes you doubt yourself? Who do you feel will reject you if you act like your true self around them? Gracefully begin to distance yourself from these relationships. You might feel lonely for some time, but loneliness is sometimes a good thing.
3) Clear out your junk. Get rid of everything you don’t use, don’t like and don’t need. Marie Kondo, in the Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up, tells us to donate, trade, sell or dispose of everything we own that doesn’t bring us joy. I think that that is a wonderful litmus test to decide what we should be holding on to. Personally, one thing that did not bring me joy was an awful old desk in my room. It was uncomfortable and ugly. I replaced it with a free desk someone I knew was throwing away. I also donated 7 garbage bags of things: books, clothes and keepsakes from when I was a child. Since then, I feel like my room has been infused with a little bit more joy. Remove all your joyless items from your life and observe how your energy changes.
4) Sit in silence. This could be meditation, staring at the wall, chanting or simply breathing. Do it with eyes closed or open. I start at 20 minutes of meditation—a meditation teacher I had told me to always use a timer to increase self-discipline—and work up to 30 some days and an hour on really good days. Start with 5 minutes. Sitting in silence helps to quiet the mind and bring us back to the present. You’ll be amazed at what you discover when you sit in silence. Read some books on meditation or take a meditation course for specific techniques, but simply sitting in silence can offer amazing benefits as well.
5) Explore the topics that interested you as a child. When I got back into painting in 2008, after getting a science degree when I’d always been interested in the art, my life changed a little bit. I started a blog in 2011; it happens to be the one you’re reading now. Get back into whatever you were passionate about as a child, even if it’s just a cartoon you used to watch.
6) Start a gratitude jar. Once a day write down something that you are grateful for—use as much detail as possible—and toss it in a jar or shoebox. When you’re feeling low, open up the jar and read the messages you’ve left yourself. I also tried a similar exercise with things I wanted to manifest or achieve. A few months later I read my entries and realized I’d achieved every single one. It’s amazing what kind of energy glass jars can attract.
7) Read. According to James Altucher, you need to read 500 books on a given topic in order to become an expert on something. You have 5 years to reinvent yourself, so start your reading now. Read one book and then, from that book, read another. It’s interesting where reading trails can lead us. I read one book, which mentions another book, read that book and then end up in a new world I never knew existed. I personally feel a little anxious when I don’t have a book beside my bed, but if you’re new to reading, start small. There are two books that I’ve already mentioned in this blog post; start from either of them and then go from there. The next on my list is The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron, which was mentioned in The Power of No. Who knows where that one will lead me.
8) Get 8-9 hours of sleep a night.
9) Eat your vegetables, especially leafy greens. Avoid sugar, moderate alcohol and caffeine. Eat healthy protein and healthy fats (if you don’t know what those are, welcome to my blog! browse more of my articles on healthy eating or book an appointment with a naturopathic doctor like me!—shameless self promo).
10) Exercise. Enjoy some movement every day.
11) Exercise your idea muscle. According to James Altucher, creativity is a muscle that we need to exercise lest it atrophies, like any other muscle. He recommends getting a journal and writing 10-20 ideas in it every day. They don’t have to be good ideas, just any ideas. Removing the filter of self-judgement is important for allowing creativity to flourish. We need to strengthen that muscle.
12) Get some psychotherapy. Start dealing with childhood wounds and meeting your inner critic. Address your erroneous beliefs about yourself, the world and the past. Contact me to learn where to get quality psychotherapy in Toronto at an affordable price.
13) Expand your social circle. If you find that after following step 2 your social circle has gotten smaller, start to find ways to expand it. My favourite way to reinvent my social interactions, and thus begin to reinvent my life, is to look up a meetup.com group and start attending. If you’re not sure about a meet-up group you’ve attended, give it 2 more tries before deciding not to go back. In 3 tries, you’ve either made new friends and connections or decided that the energies of the group aren’t right for you. Online dating is another cool place to start meeting people outside your social sphere and getting over social anxieties.
14) Establish a self-care routine. What would someone who loved themselves do every day? Try to do at least some of those things every day. It could be going for a 15-minute walk before doing the dishes. It could be doing the dishes rather than leaving a messy kitchen for your more tired future self. Think about what things will make you feel good and then do them. Most of the time this involves bubble baths—light some candles while you’re at it. Read this article on self-care to learn more.
15) Write a Have-Done List. Instead of writing a list of things you have to do today—your standard To-Do List—write a list of things you’ve done at the end of every day. This fills people with a sense of accomplishment from looking at everything they’ve done. It definitely beats the stress and anxiety of looking at the list of things that must get done looming before them.
16) Treat other people as if it were their last days on earth. We’ve all been told to “live each day on Earth as if it were your last.” But what if you lived as if each day on Earth were everyone else’s last? You’d probably treat them a little more nicely, be open with them, be honest with them and not gossip or speak badly about them. You might appreciate them more. The idea is James’, not mine, but I like it. I think it’s a good rule for how to treat people.
17) Pay attention to what you’re jealous of and what you despise in others. The things we are jealous of in others are often our disowned selves. If I’m jealous of my friend’s Broadway debut I’m probably disowning a creative, eccentric and artistic side of myself that it’s time I give love and attention to. The things we’re bothered by in others often represent our shadow sides, the negative things we disown in ourselves. I used to tell myself the story that my ex-boyfriend was selfish; he took care of his needs first. However, maybe I just needed to start taking care of my own needs or come to terms with my own tendencies towards selfishness. Our negative emotions in relation to others can provide us with amazing tools of enlightenment and prime us well for our own personal reinventions.
18) Let go of the things that were not meant for you. Past relationships, missed opportunities, potential patients that never call back, “perfect” apartments, etc. Say good-bye to the things you don’t get. They’re for somebody else. These things are on their own journeys, as you are on yours. If you miss one taxi, know that there are other, probably better, ones following it. So, rather than wasting time chasing after the missed taxi, meditate on the street corner until the next one comes along.
19) Listen. Ask questions. Show curiosity. When someone finishes speaking to you, take a breath and count to 2 before responding. It’s amazing how your relationships change when engaging in the simple act of listening. I love the Motivational Interviewing technique of reflective listening. In reflective listening, we repeat back the other’s words while adding something new that we think they might have meant, looking for the meaning between the person’s—your friend’s, patient’s or client’s—words. I find that this has helped the person I’m speaking with feel truly listened to. If I get the meaning wrong, it gives the other person a chance to correct me and thereby ensure that we’re really communicating and understanding each other. This one simple tool—reflective listening—has transformed my naturopathic practice and interviewing skills.
20) Be patient. Personally, I’m terrible at this. But, like you, I’ll try working on the other 19 steps while I wait for the next stage of reinvention to take hold. I’ve ordered my next book from the library. See you all in 4 years.
This is likely one of the shallowest posts I’ll ever write—it’s about hair. However, what is so shallow about hair? We all know the importance of having a good hair day. It seems from the moment we wake up, look in the mirror and notice that our top bun has left proper, succulent waves and not weird, irregular angles of frizz, that the rest of the day will be infused with magic. Our hair plays a huge role in who we are and how we see ourselves. When movie characters want to change their identities, the first thing they do is stash themselves in a truck stop bathroom with a box of hair dye and go to town on their manes. Further, and admittedly sticking to the shallow side of things, I’m often suspicious when every photo of a man on Ok Cupid shows himself wearing a hat—what on earth is he hiding? At any rate, concerns about hair health gets people, namely women, into my office. Sometimes seemingly shallow, trivial health concerns act as gateways to lifestyle changes and a journey to health and wellbeing. Since our bodies don’t really require hair for survival, hair health, along with sex drive and energy, is one of the first things to decline when we enter into a state of imbalance. It therefore becomes an important initial warning sign that things have gone array with our health.
If you’re someone who sees hair not just as a superficial aspect but as a reflection of your identity and well-being, then delving into the world of dreadlock classes could offer a transformative experience. Consider exploring the comprehensive resources available at https://dreadlockcentral.com/courses/. These courses provide a deep dive into the art of dreadlock maintenance and styling, empowering individuals to cultivate a strong sense of self-expression and confidence through their hair.
Just as concerns about hair health can serve as a gateway to overall well-being, mastering the art of dreadlocks through these classes can become a catalyst for positive lifestyle changes and self-discovery. Whether you’re looking to embrace your natural texture or make a bold statement with your locks, the knowledge and techniques gained from these courses can help you achieve your hair goals while also fostering a deeper connection to yourself and your personal journey of health and wellness. So, if you’re ready to explore the transformative power of dreadlocks and embark on a journey of self-discovery, consider enrolling in dreadlock classes today.
Hair holds a significant place in our self-perception and daily routines, often influencing our confidence and identity. When hair health falters, whether due to genetics, hormonal changes, or lifestyle factors, individuals may seek solutions like Hair Restoration Therapy to regain a sense of normalcy and well-being. This therapy, offered by a specialized plastic surgeon, aims to address hair loss and promote regrowth through various techniques such as laser therapy, PRP (Platelet-Rich Plasma) injections, or surgical procedures like hair transplantation. While the desire for lush locks may seem superficial to some, it often serves as a catalyst for deeper introspection and lifestyle changes, underscoring the interconnectedness of physical appearance and overall health.
Hair loss is often a concern for many women and men. It’s normal to notice a few strands of hair in the shower—the average woman loses about 50 to 100 strands of hair per day. However, when patches of hair seem to be missing, areas of thinning are present or a reduction in overall hair volume (usually indicated by a decrease in thickness of the pony tail), this can point to possible pathological hair loss.
In the quest to address concerns about hair loss, the choice of shampoo becomes a crucial element in maintaining scalp health. Opting for a sulfate free shampoo for oily scalp emerges as a thoughtful strategy to navigate this common challenge. This type of shampoo not only gently cleanses the hair but also ensures that the scalp’s natural oils are preserved, striking a balance that is particularly beneficial for those experiencing issues like thinning or reduced hair volume.
While losing a few strands daily is normal, unusual patterns of hair loss can signal pathological conditions that may require medical attention. For those seeking effective solutions, advancements in the field of hair restoration, such as hair transplant procedures, have become increasingly popular. In Seattle, individuals concerned about hair loss often explore options like hair transplants, which can provide a natural and lasting solution to restore hair density. It’s essential to consider factors such as seattle hair transplant cost along with the expertise of professionals to make an informed decision about addressing hair loss concerns. Seeking appropriate medical advice and exploring suitable treatments can help individuals regain not only their hair but also their confidence and overall sense of well-being.
History and Labs:
When coming in to see your naturopathic doctor, he or she may ask you the following questions:
Do you notice any itchiness or flaking of the scalp? These symptoms could indicate a number of skin conditions of the scalp that contribute to hair loss: seborrheic dermatitis, infection by a fungus called Malassezia furfur that causes dandruff, or psoriasis of the scalp, an autoimmune condition. The ND may diagnose via trial-and-error or perform skin-scraping to rule out a fungal infection. A skin biopsy may be indicated to provide a definitive diagnosis, however this test is invasive.
What do you labs look like? Comprehensive lab work is necessary in patients with hair loss. It’s important to see what iron status is, as well as thyroid health. Low iron or under-functioning thyroid can be the root cause of hair loss as can high androgens, the male sex hormones.
Which medications are you taking? Oral contraceptives can cause a deficiency in vitamins and minerals, such as zinc and B vitamins, that can cause hair loss. Other medications that can cause hair loss include, and or not limited to, blood pressure medications, antidepressants, antibiotics, acne medications, chemotherapeutics agents, immunosuppressants and pain medications. An ND can work with your doctor to decrease your list of medications by addressing the root cause of concerns, if possible, or collaborate in switching medications. This, of course, will only be done in collaboration with the prescribing doctor.
What’s bugging you? Stress can contribute significantly to hair loss. The mechanism of action is varied, but a decrease in circulation to the scalp, protein deficiency and depletion of vitamins used by the adrenal glands, can be possible causes of hair loss. Telogen effluvium is a condition where the body pushes the hair follicles into a “resting phase” so that they no longer grow and produce hair. This is done because when under stress, the body enters survival mode and does not dedicate precious resources to non-survival entities such as hair health. Alopecia areata an autoimmune condition in which the immune system of the body attacks the hair’s follicles, causing large patches of hair to fall out. This is said to be cause or aggravated by severe stress. Trichotillomania is a mental health condition in which the individual plucks out hair as a self-soothing mechanism.
What are you other symptoms? Weight gain, irregular periods, acne and hair growth on the face can indicate PCOS, which also can cause loss of scalp hair due to higher-than-normal testosterone levels. Men with high testosterone will also experience more hair loss. Digestive symptoms can indicate malabsorption of important fat-soluble vitamins or iron, which can contribute to hair loss if resulting in deficiency.
What hair products do you use? A sensitivity to sulphates and/or other chemical additives to hair products can contribute to hair loss or a decrease in the lustre and overall health of hair follicles.
Treatment:
The naturopathic treatment for hair loss, involves identifying and treating the root cause of symptoms, not the hair loss itself. A potential treatment plan might consist of the following:
Restoring health by replenishing depleted or deficient vitamins and minerals.
Eliminating infection or scalp fungus if necessary.
Managing stress in healthy, constructive ways.
Balancing hormones and the immune system via herbs, supplements and dietary changes.
Nourishing the hair by adding in vitamins that support hair health, such as fish oil. This also involves changing shampoos and conditioners to more natural, sulphate-free forms.
Castor oil hair mask:
Once a week, when my hair starts looking drier and duller, I do a castor oil hair mask and scalp massage. Castor oil is an anti-fungal and anti-inflammatory oil. It has the added benefit of increasing blood flow to the area it is applied to, in this case the scalp, which can increase hair growth. It is also a wonderful moisturizer and nutrient-rich hair supplement. It can help fuse together and moisturize split ends. Performing a self-scalp massage is a great way to increase body love by performing self care and has a grounding effect on the body, which reduces mental-emotional stress.
Apply a liberal amount of castor oil to palms. Rub oil into palms to warm it. Starting at the scalp, work oil into the hair follicles, applying a firm pressure and moving the fingertips in circles. Massage for 5 minutes, moving the oil through the shaft of the hair to the ends. After performing massage, leave oil in hair for at least an hour or overnight. Finally, shampoo and condition hair as usual to remove oil. Warning: castor oil can stain fabrics so sleep with an old pillowcase and wear an old t-shirt while performing castor oil scalp massages.
Epilogue: If you haven’t noticed, this seemingly shallow subject matter is the perfect segue into talking about a basic naturopathic approach, which involves taking a thorough history, ordering lab work to find the root cause of symptoms and then treating accordingly using non-invasive therapies that aim to treat the cause, not just the symptoms themselves. Notice how this is vastly different from walking into a supplement store and purchasing a product called “Hair Loss Formula” or some other facsimile. While this formula may replenish some deficient vitamins, it is masking the real cause, which may be PCOS or celiac disease, and delay effective treatment for these conditions. Hopefully this highlights the importance of seeking a professional opinion rather than self-diagnosing and self-prescribing!
I was in an emotional crisis. My partner and I were fighting. It was my fault and the anxiety I endured from the confrontation was compounded by a deep sense of guilt and shame. I felt powerless as I waited for him to reach out to me so we could fix the problem while at the same time dreading the future confrontation we’d have. I felt isolated. My nerves were shot.
I texted the problem to my friend, A, the psychotherapist, while sitting on the couch in my pyjamas. At the time I remember wanting to include others in my misery, so that people would ask me about it and tell me everything would be alright, that it happens to all of us—it wasn’t that bad—and that I’d get through this thing.
A tells me, “There is nothing you can do now but wait. Waiting takes courage. So, while you’re waiting, don’t forget to self care.”
Self-care: the illusive term we’d often hear tossed around in naturopathic medical school. The hyphenated compound noun referred to anything from applying castor oil packs to getting enough sleep. In my mind, it brings up images of spa-like indulgences: bubble baths, candles, a junky novel—guilty pleasures. True self-care, however, is far from simple self-indulgences. Audre Lorde owns the most powerful definition of self-care I’ve heard, which is this:
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation. And that is an act of political warfare.”
Rather than being a commercial phenomenon—involving trips to the spa, chocolate binge-eating and shopping sprees—self-care is political. Self-care challenges the inequality and oppression of race, gender, class and sexual orientation in society, by providing us with a means to improve our strength and ensure our survival.
When I read Lorde’s quote, I think of my Italian grandmother Nonna. Barely sitting down to enjoy the dinner she had prepared, she dedicated herself to the service of her family’s well-being. Like many other women, especially Italian Catholic women from her generation, she had been taught that any care for herself was selfishness—a symbol of the highest level of vanity and self-obsession. Nonna, like other women of various colours, religions and socioeconomic statuses, was taught to live a life of self-sacrifice. Any attention paid to her own well-being was regarded as an indulgent after-thought. Women are denied a societal sense of self-worth, which is then paradoxically medicated by advertisers telling us to “treat ourselves” to expensive perks because we’ve “earned it”. We are taught not to love ourselves and then instructed how to remedy this lack of self-love with expensive gifts.
Self-care is about finding ways to cultivate and feel deserving of self-love.
True self-care is essential for moving us forward. Because it prioritizes the health and well-being of a person, it affirms self-worth. This has the power to challenge the oppressive forces of racism, misogyny, classism, homophobia and other prejudices. Self-care helps with trauma recovery. It helps heal.
Self-care builds resilience.
We commonly fall into the thought-trap of regarding self-care inaccessible to certain populations; we assume it requires time, money and energy that not all of us have. Katherine from “I Am Begging My Mother Not to Read This Blog” accurately expresses the sentiment with an ironic twist:
“Make time for yourself. After you’ve run that 5K, started a load of laundry, harvested your organic vegetable garden, run to the bank, paid the bills, dazzled everyone with recipes that are cost-effective, healthy, and delicious, thought of something witty and clever to share with your social networking site, caught up on current events and politics, and cleaned all of the house, that special hour set aside just for you is so critical to your well-being.”
While she certainly has a point, something essential is missed in the definition of self-care. Self-care isn’t about shutting out the sound of your screaming children while you pour yourself a martini and fill the tub with hot water. Self-care is about intention, balance, mindfulness, self-awareness and, above all self-love. It is about taking responsibility for one’s own health and well-being. It is about recognizing your physical, mental and emotional needs and ensuring that those needs are met. Self-care is about reducing stress levels. If a pile of dirty laundry is stressing you out, then mindfully washing those clothes while watching the stress leave your body is self-care.
Self-care is an attitude. You can wash your dirty laundry with the frenzy of a thousand cortisol molecules and your mind on the massive list of other things yet to get done, or you can savour the positive feelings of achievement that comes from checking an item off the to-do list. You can breathe the scent of fabric softener, feel the warmth of the clothes that are coming out of the dryer and acknowledge that you are caring for yourself by ensuring you have clean clothes to wear the next day. It’s perspective and intention that creates self-care. That being said, laundry doesn’t necessarily have to be your thing either.
I have a patient who works 6-day weeks. When I asked her what she does for self-care, she looked at me, puzzled. “You know, self-care—how do you take care of yourself?” I tried to clarify. There was still no dawning of realization on her face. I silently chided myself for asking such an insensitive question.
And yet, my patient was taking care of herself. She was drinking more water, eating more vegetables and exercising. She was coming to see a naturopathic doctor and investing in her health. She was doing plenty of self-care; she just didn’t know it.
The SCaR Foundation outlines the BACE method of self-care, which helps us draw awareness to the simple acts we can engage in to care for ourselves.
Body Care involves exercising regularly, eating healthy food, taking medications and herbal supplements as prescribed. It also encompasses getting up to stretch while sitting at a desk, drinking water, getting enough sleep.
Achievement consists of finishing the daily tasks you have on your to-do list, laundry among them. It also includes working towards goals, like studying for a test or doing your work.
Connecting with Others includes spending time with friends, family, or a pet. Social connection is one of the reasons why we’re alive. Being able to reach out to others for help is one of the strongest manifestations of courage and resilience.
Enjoyment encompasses hobbies, favourite pass-times and indulgences. What activities bring joy and happiness to your life?
Self-care should not be pre-determined. When it becomes someone else’s prescription, it is no longer self-care.
Self-care is not always pleasurable. Sometimes it can be quite uncomfortable, such as making the decision to change careers, end a relationship or get in shape. It can be transformative, such as standing up for yourself. Self-love is a revolutionary act and revolutions aren’t always won peacefully. However, learning to listen to the body allows us to determine which decisions are coming from a place of self-love and not anger, hatred or fear.
My particular self-care story ended well. The very act of reaching out to a friend had already begun the process of self-caring (connection). After talking to A, I got up, changed out of my bathrobe, exercised, showered, and put on a homemade face mask of yogurt, honey and avocado (body care). I read fiction on the couch with a hot mug of cinnamon tea (enjoyment). I did yoga, meditated (body care) and went to a friend’s house for lunch, then another friend’s for dinner (connection). I took a course on a subject I love and met other healthcare practitioners while developing a new counselling skill (achievement). A part of me craved isolation, but I intuited that wouldn’t be a restorative act for me at that time and so I forced myself to move on with my activities, knowing that they would improve my positivity and resilience. In the end, because I took care of myself, I was able to face the situation from a place of strength and compassion for both me and my partner. Self-care helped me move past the shame and connect to the most powerful and loving version of myself.
That was my approach to self-care, because it was what I needed. At that time, I needed to feel healthy, strong and social. I needed to be reminded of who I was. Others in similar situations may decide that they need to grieve alone while watching When Harry Met Sally and devouring wine and popcorn, their faces stained with tears. Self-care is about knowing yourself and recognizing and honouring your needs.
Contrary to what we’ve been told, self-care isn’t selfish. It is the highest expression of connectedness. We can’t take care of others if we are not healthy. And we can’t be healthy without taking care of ourselves.
Also, check out this Self-Care Journal, by Rachelle Abellar. It has sections for personal affirmations and action plans for when you’re feeling low. You can buy a copy at lulu.com.
Someone, I think it was Eckhart Tolle, once said that when it comes to mental illness, anxiety is about worry for the future, while depression is concerned with regret for the past. While, I’m not entirely (or even nearly) convinced that this is true, there is little doubt that those with both depression and anxiety can get caught in the paralysis of going over past events and regrets in their minds. Therefore, healing regret becomes important for reframing our past experiences and present identity and improving mood and self-esteem.
